BREAKING: Kate Upton’s Instagram Account Has Been Hijacked

• October 3, 2017 5:06 pm


There seems to be something wrong with the famously reasonable and wise Kate Upton's Instagram account.*

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

At first I was alarmed that Upton, an American icon, would fall for this nonsense from Gloria Steinem. Then I realized that Steinem's point was so stupid that it was impossible this could actually be Upton, whose account is generally comprised of only greatness. There is no way this could have been Upton.

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

Steinem's argument, that it should be harder for young men to get a gun than it is for young women to get an abortion, ignores the fact that it is currently much harder for young men to get a gun than it is for young women to get an abortion.

Federal law prohibits the sale of any firearm or ammunition to anybody under the age of 18. Furthermore, it prohibits the sale of handguns to anybody under the age of 21. There is no federal law placing age restrictions on abortions.

There is no way that Upton, who mastered zero-gravity in a day, could have overlooked this.

There are only some states where the restrictions Steinem references on abortion exist. According to the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute, just 26 states require parental consent for an abortion and only three states have a 48 hour waiting period for the medical procedure.

This stuff is laid out pretty clearly on the Planned Parenthood website. Could Upton, who took over the modeling world with one dance move, really have missed it?

Steinem complains that there are places where there is limited access to abortions. That's true of guns as well—there are no gun stores, for example, where I live in Washington D.C. She also complains that people need to walk through protestors on their way to getting an abortion—this sounds like the last time the Washington Free Beacon went shooting.

Upton is usually a voice of reason for America in times when one is greatly needed.

In my opinion, the national anthem is a symbolic song about our country. It represents honoring the many brave men and women who sacrifice and have sacrificed their lives each and every single day to protect our freedom. Sitting or kneeling down during the national anthem is a disgrace to those people who have served and currently serve our country. Sitting down during the national anthem on September 11th is even more horrific. Protest all you want and use social media all you want. However, during the nearly two minutes when that song is playing, I believe everyone should put their hands on their heart and be proud of our country for we are all truly blessed. Recent history has shown that it is a place where anyone no matter what race or gender has the potential to become President of the United States. We live in the most special place in the world and should be thankful. After the song is over, I would encourage everyone to please use the podium they have, stand up for their beliefs, and make America a better place. The rebuilding of battery park and the freedom tower demonstrates that amazing things can be done in this country when we work together towards a common goal. It is a shame how quickly we have forgotten this as a society. Today we are more divided then ever before. I could never imagine multiple people sitting down during the national anthem on the September 11th anniversary. The lessons of 911 should teach us that if we come together, the world can be a better and more peaceful place #neverforget.

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

The post on gun control is completely out of place on her account, which is generally dedicated to awesome things like her dog, charity work, dancing, and modeling.

Take a look:

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on

Whoever has control of Upton's account should return it to her promptly. This is no time for America to be without her voice.

*I'm kidding, this is a joke, I know she wrote this in good (but misguided and incorrect) faith.