Make The Galaxy Great Again: Better, Bolder Options for the Space Force Logo

Space Force is President Donald Trump’s gift to future generations of proud Americans who will one day bear witness to the greatest empire on Earth’s ultimate conquest: the final frontier. But first, he needs our help choosing a logo.

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Once the logo is sorted, we can all start stocking up on trendy Space Force gear, and wearing it to social functions. A selfie in a hot new Space Force tactical vest is sure to boost your swipe rate on Tinder. Unfortunately, the logo options the Trump campaign’s interns came up with are pretty lame, so we decided to design a few better, bolder logos for your immediate consideration. Let us know what you think!

Make The Milky Way Great Again: Top Priorities for Trump’s Visionary Space Force

Vice President Mike Pence on Thursday formally unveiled President Donald Trump’s visionary plan to establish a new branch of the U.S. military: the Space Force. The president marked the occasion by Tweeting, and liberals across the country were left with the odd yet familiar taste in the mouths that often results from being thoroughly owned.

Jim Acosta Deserves His Own Show, Here Are 4 Bold Suggestions

CNN White House correspondent Jim Acosta is an American hero who puts his body on the line every day to defend our most cherished freedoms. Much like a firefighter who charges into a burning buildings to save children, Acosta protects the U.S. Constitution from the rhetorical flames of tyranny by shouting questions at public officials from the back of a crowded room.

Kid-telligence Report: Children Weigh in on Current Affairs

It is often said that children make the best pundits because they possess simple minds and pure hearts unsullied by the cynicism of adulthood. Our Twitter feeds are awash with insightful social commentary from “woke toddlers” like Charlie Kirk, causing many to wonder if extending the franchise to children is the next defining civil rights issues of our time. That is why the Washington Free Beacon decided to interview (in our minds) a bunch a random children in search of valuable perspectives on the issues of the day. As it turns out, kid really do say the darndest things. And you might just learn a thing or two — if you are willing to listen.

Free Beacon Flash Forward: How Trump Won Re-Re-Election in 2024

Nov. 5, 2024 The result was never in doubt, but patriotic Americans were nonetheless relieved and elated when U.S. Journalist General Sean Hannity officially announced Donald J. Trump had won an historic third term as president, easily defeating Democratic nominee Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her running mate, figure skater Adam Rippon. Citizens flocked to recently erected …

Diddle: Blackballed Conservative Satirist Highlights Media Corruption, Bias

Diddle here. I’d like to say a quick hello to all my readers and fans and ex-lovers before attending to the matter at hand. Perhaps you’re wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. I don’t blame you. The answers to those questions, and many others, will reveal themselves in time. In recent …

Finally, an Obama Legacy Worth Preserving

Many agree that President Obama’s two terms in office comprised the darkest period in our country’s history since Congress passed the Social Security Act in 1935. The former celebrity-in-chief committed myriad political atrocities in his quest to eradicate the American Dream and replace it with a “Choom Gang” vision-quest-cum-death march through barren Shariah hellscapes teeming with …