Free Beacon Satire
The Latest
I'm a Home Defense Expert. Here's Why You Shouldn't Try To Rape Your Burglar.
Graham Platner's cavalier approach to confronting home intruders is frowned upon in academic circles
Fallen Hero: CBS Fires Scott Pelley After Decorated Career 'In Combat'
Read exclusive excerpts from the newsman's war journals
Sorry, Haters: James Talarico Not Gay, Analysis Finds
Exclusive 13-prong assessment suggests conservatives are just threatened by his modern brand of masculinity
Exclusive New Details About Trump’s Presidential Library
It's bigger than Obama's, obviously, plus more beautiful and engaging in every respect
EXCLUSIVE: We Obtained the Syllabus for Claudine Gay’s New Harvard Course on Higher Education
The disgraced plagiarist is still teaching after resigning as president of the (reputationally) elite university in 2024
Supremely Progressive: Iran Becomes First Nation in World History Led by Gay Amputee
Representation matters now more than ever
Democrats Condemn Islamophobia After 'ISIS-Inspired' Nuts Hurl Homemade Bombs in NYC
Mayor Zohran Mamdani praises very fine people who didn't shout 'Allahu Akbar' while trying to murder people in the name of ISIS
Exclusive: Graham Platner's Crisis PR Handbook Hints at Trouble Still To Come
It could happen (and keep happening) to anyone
WATCH: Shoddy AI-Generated Campaign Ad Raises Questions About Jasmine Crockett's Competence
Write your clever subhead here. A few words or a sentence works.
Guest Column: I'm Also a Victim of Zionist Aggression and Islamophobia. Where Are My Encampments?
Iran's supreme leader decries apathy of student activists as regime fights off colonial agitators