Parody

I Forced A Bot to Write an Amy Coney Barrett Story Based on Media Reporting and This Was the Result

Using advanced algorithmic technology purchased on the dark web, the Washington Free Beacon has created a bot capable of performing journalism at a professional level. This week, we forced the bot to review media reports on Amy Coney Barrett, the frontrunner to be President Donald Trump's nominee to the Supreme Court, and asked it to write its own report based on that analysis. Here is the result.

TREND ALERT: Lib Journos Can’t Stop Breaking Stuff

Could this explain their reluctance to condemn riots?

The Atlantic has stumbled upon a curious non-viral epidemic plaguing the liberal community in the age of COVID-19. In a piece headlined, "Everyone I Know Keeps Breaking Things," staff writer Amanda Mull argues that, among her friends and followers, reported instances of bumbling behavior are "so common that they seem as if they might be part of a pattern instead of just random acts of clumsiness."

Biden Approaches 500 Days Without a Boat Parade as MAGA Boaters Smash World Record for Trump

Joe Biden announced his presidential campaign on April 25, 2019. Since then, not a single boat parade has been held in his honor. For those keeping score at home, that's a whopping 480 days without a boat parade. When knowledgable pundits discuss the "enthusiasm gap" between Biden supporters and the MAGA faithful who can't wait to cast legitimate votes for President Donald J. Trump, this is precisely what they are talking about.