Dispatches From The Hipster Coffee Scene: An Eye-Opening Investigation

The elite mainstream media is hopelessly cocooned in its Acela corridor bubble, and blinded its by anti-Trump hysteria. They can’t possibly convey an accurate assessment of the political zeitgeist in Real America. This can only be achieved through enterprising, shoe-leather reporting from that most politically fertile of venues: the hipster coffee shop. I was in …

The Ultimate Creative Guide to Voting in Disguise

It’s time for Americans to accept the fact that voter fraud is here to stay. It’s just another one of those peculiar social trends that eventually finds its way into the mainstream — like jogging, pretending to like soccer, and watching strangers play video games online. As always, our president gets it. “When people get in …

FRONTRUNNER: This Beto 2020 Swag Will Blow Your F—ing Mind

Texas Democrat Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke didn’t technically win his Senate race due in large part to the fact that his opponent, suspected Zodiac killer and assassin spawn Ted Cruz, got more votes in the election. That said, as many pundits have suggested, Beto was actually one of the biggest winners of the 2018 midterms. …

You Won’t Be Able to #Resist These New Ben & Jerry’s Woke Ice Cream Flavors

In case you hadn’t heard the news, woke ice cream corporation Ben & Jerry’s is putting its money where your mouth is. That’s right, they’re taking the #Resistance to Flavortown™. Eat it, Drumpf! (Literally!) Today we launch Pecan Resist! This flavor supports groups creating a more just and equitable nation for us all, and who …

FREE BEACON ANALYSIS: Joe Biden’s Expressive Brow Cements Status as 2020 Frontrunner

Former Vice President Joe Biden, 75, is the prohibitive favorite to win the Democratic nomination for president in 2020 (should Hillary Clinton decide not to run again). Biden recently spoke at the memorial service for his former colleague, Sen. John McCain of Arizona, where he exuded his signature “aw schucks” charisma with the help of …

SHOCKING: 10 Disturbing Facts About Brett Kavanaugh

Thanks to journalism, every day brings to light a new disturbing revelation about Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to replace retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court. Here are just 10 of the most troubling.

Thou Doth #Resist Too Much: It’s Time to Put the MAGA Back in Magazines

#Resistance journalism is kicking into gear ahead of the midterm elections. Opinion columnists at major publications are earning those fat pay checks by courageously churning out insights into why “Trump Is Bad,” or “American Needs a President, Not a Tweeter-In-Chief” — thoughtful arguments that challenge readers to think deeply about the issues. Meanwhile, editors at …

7 Ways To Improve Soccer (While Trump Builds a Legal Case for an Outright Ban)

The hashtag #WaysToImproveSoccer is trending on social media for some reason—probably because most normal people regard the “sport” as a tedious affair that rewards whining. Of course, suggesting ways to “improve” this decidedly anti-American endeavor is little more than a rhetorical exercise. The most sensible course of action would be an outright ban. #WaysToImproveSoccer by …