Joe Biden Death Watch, By the Numbers

Red Alert: 79-year-old POTUS suffers cancer scare, tests positive for COVID

July 22, 2022

President Joe Biden's health is deteriorating before our eyes. Recent events have prompted the Washington Free Beacon to declare a state of DEATH WATCH 1. Here are some key numbers and other facts to keep in mind during this challenging time for our once-great nation.

Age: 79.8 years

U.S. average life expectancy (male): 75.1 years

Number-one song when Biden was born: "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby

Most recognizable world leader when Biden was born: Adolf Hitler

Living ex-presidents younger than Biden: Four

COVID-19 diagnosis: Positive

Age group at highest risk for COVID-19 fatality: 65 years and up

U.S. COVID-19 deaths on Biden's watch: 617,896

U.S. polio cases on Biden's watch: At least one

Cancer diagnosis: Ambiguous

Lung capacity: Poor

Temperament: Cranky

Spatial awareness: Below average

Verbal communications skills: Very poor

Energy/stamina level: Needs improvement

Broken bones suffered due to naked dog-play: At least one

History of crack addiction in family: Yes

Biden's job approval rating: 36.8 percent

Biden's age on Election Day 2024: 81.9 years

Octogenarians elected president (U.S. history): Zero

Hillary Clinton's age on Election Day 2024: 77.0 years

Average life expectancy (Hillary's enemies): Very low

Former world leaders assassinated on Biden's watch: One: Shinzo Abe

Domestic assassination attempts on Biden's watch: Two: Justice Brett Kavanaugh, Rep. Lee Zeldin (R., N.Y.)

Biden donors charged with murdering family: At least one

Biden grandchildren (acknowledged): Six

Biden grandchildren (unacknowledged): At least one

Kamala Harris's favorability rating: 37.0 percent

Kamala Harris ambition rating: Ruthless

Odds of America surviving a Harris presidency: Very low

Number of times Barack Obama was right about politics: One ("Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f— things up")