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Joe Biden Death Watch, By the Numbers

Red Alert: 79-year-old POTUS suffers cancer scare, tests positive for COVID

• July 22, 2022 3:05 pm

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President Joe Biden's health is deteriorating before our eyes. Recent events have prompted the Washington Free Beacon to declare a state of DEATH WATCH 1. Here are some key numbers and other facts to keep in mind during this challenging time for our once-great nation.

Age: 79.8 years

U.S. average life expectancy (male): 75.1 years

Number-one song when Biden was born: "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby

Most recognizable world leader when Biden was born: Adolf Hitler

Living ex-presidents younger than Biden: Four

COVID-19 diagnosis: Positive

Age group at highest risk for COVID-19 fatality: 65 years and up

U.S. COVID-19 deaths on Biden's watch: 617,896

U.S. polio cases on Biden's watch: At least one

Cancer diagnosis: Ambiguous

Lung capacity: Poor

Temperament: Cranky

Spatial awareness: Below average

Verbal communications skills: Very poor

Energy/stamina level: Needs improvement

Broken bones suffered due to naked dog-play: At least one

History of crack addiction in family: Yes

Biden's job approval rating: 36.8 percent

Biden's age on Election Day 2024: 81.9 years

Octogenarians elected president (U.S. history): Zero

Hillary Clinton's age on Election Day 2024: 77.0 years

Average life expectancy (Hillary's enemies): Very low

Former world leaders assassinated on Biden's watch: One: Shinzo Abe

Domestic assassination attempts on Biden's watch: Two: Justice Brett Kavanaugh, Rep. Lee Zeldin (R., N.Y.)

Biden donors charged with murdering family: At least one

Biden grandchildren (acknowledged): Six

Biden grandchildren (unacknowledged): At least one

Kamala Harris's favorability rating: 37.0 percent

Kamala Harris ambition rating: Ruthless

Odds of America surviving a Harris presidency: Very low

Number of times Barack Obama was right about politics: One ("Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f— things up")