Democratic Party

HISTORIC!!!

I forced a bot to read every Kamala Harris announcement story and write an announcement of its own

The Washington Free Beacon analytics bureau, with the help of a proprietary algorithm purchased on the dark web, programmed a bot to read every single media report on Kamala Harris's selection as Joe Biden's running mate. Then we asked it to write a Kamala Harris announcement story based on its analysis. This was the result:

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED: Kamala Harris Shall Not Be Criticized

Liberal activists warn media outlets: 'We will be watching you.'

Vice presidential candidates typically have to face scrutiny, and Joe Biden's choice, especially given the presidential candidate's advanced age and cognitive decline, will be no exception. He could have done the right thing by choosing his old friend Chris Dodd. Instead, Biden has selected an old rival, Kamala Harris.

Susan Rice: The ‘Own The Libs’ Candidate

Devotees of the "Own The Libs" movement know that owning the Libs is an all-encompassing philosophy. The Libs must be owned whenever possible and at all costs. When it comes to Joe Biden's choice of a running mate—expected to be announced this week—one candidate looms as the best equipped to own the pathetic Libs who naively believed the Democratic Party was too "woke" to nominate a geriatric white dude in 2020: Susan Rice.

John Kerry Finally Accomplishes Something

Failed politician and Big Ketchup spouse wins sailboat race around Martha's Vineyard

John Kerry, the failed Democratic politician and Big Ketchup spouse who negotiated the Obama administration's Iran reparations package, finally accomplished something. The billionaire (by marriage) captained the Lark, a 45-foot Alden gaff cutter built in 1932, to a first-place finish in the Edgartown Yacht Club’s Round the Island race over the weekend.

Left-Wing UC Berkeley Professor Doesn’t Want Poor People Moving Into His Posh Neighborhood

Robert Reich, a left-wing professor at the University of California Berkeley who served as secretary of Labor during the Clinton administration, is very concerned about income inequality. He urged Wall Street executives to "invest" in cities by funding low-income housing projects. He also praised a "promising initiative" to promote the construction of affordable housing units in San Francisco.

Biden Veepstakes: The Compelling Case for Chris Dodd

Former senator and “waitress sandwich” enthusiast Chris Dodd was given an impossible task when he was named co-chair of Joe Biden’s running mate selection committee. Biden had already limited his options by promising to choose an individual with a cervix, and public pressure to select a female-identifying BIPOC has further narrowed the field of possible candidates.

Democratic Platform Calls For Rejoining Human Rights Council

Call follows Trump administration’s decision to pull out of anti-Israel United Nations group

The 2020 Democratic national platform includes a call to rejoin the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC), which has been accused of demonizing Israel and elevating leaders with questionable human rights records.