Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say about Elon Musk and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Welcome to the party, schmucks. Better late than never.
CBS News (and many, many others) wrote stories this week after the Democratic celeb known as "AOC" instigated a cartoonish feud with the billionaire Tesla owner following his takeover of Twitter, the social networking website beloved by politics-obsessed weirdos.
Alas, not a single media outlet has cited the Washington Free Beacon's exclusive reporting on this clash of outsized personalities, which dates back to May 2021. We were the first esteemed publication to reveal that Ocasio-Cortez owned a Tesla. We were the first to expose her illegal parking (on multiple occasions) outside the Whole Foods in her posh Washington, D.C., neighborhood.
The mainstream media responded the way they always do when the Free Beacon speaks truth to power by exposing an inconvenient truth about an elected official. They squealed with rage. Disgraced left-wing pundit Keith Olbermann, for example, lashed out at Free Beacon executive editor Brent Scher and accused him of being a bad father.
"So @aoc has a Tesla? Cool," the lunatic ranted. "You better get one too, asshole, or that kid in your avatar picture who you don't actually give a shit about will be living in a world where it's 120 in SC in the summer thanks to your stupidity and wastefulness of natural resources."
Remezcla, a Brooklyn-based website for Latinx hipsters, also attacked Scher, a proud Latinx father of two, for holding a powerful politician to account. "Deservingly so, Twitter users rained down on Scher's 'Breaking Exclusive' story, which came with photos of the white car apparently owned by the lawbreaking AOC," the outlet reported. (Fact check: The white car was owned by the lawbreaking AOC.)
The Independent, a British publication of scant repute, scolded the Free Beacon for its investigative journalism, writing that a "conservative website has been mocked for a so-called 'breaking exclusive' story about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's apparently bad parking." (Fact check: Her parking was bad, not to mention illegal.)
Have they no shame? Of course they don't. They will never apologize for their childish insults. That is who they are. Nevertheless, I must state for the record that an apology is warranted. More than a year after the Free Beacon shocked the nation with its shoe-leather reporting, the mainstream media can't get enough of the AOC-Elon Musk saga. It's hardly the first time this has happened.
The Free Beacon's preternatural perspicacity compared with our slovenly liberal peers should not come as a surprise. We were the first high-profile outlet to accurately predict—in December 2014—that Hillary Clinton will never be president. We ruthlessly covered President Joe Biden's innumerable senior moments for years before the New York Times finally published a story about his verbal "fumbles" earlier this week. We will never stop afflicting our élite overlords with our fearless journalism. Never.
So suck on that, losers.