2022 Man of the Year: Anti-Vegan Legend

December 27, 2022

They say that actions speak louder than words. To that we would add that words lack flavor. Case in point: Last August, animal-rights activists went on a tear through New York City, spilling fake blood in front of Christian Dior and Louis Vuitton. They also protested loudly in front of the Nike Store. At which point a man calmly walked up to them and began eating a mouth-watering shish kebab.

The animal defenders went ape. "You’re a fucking coward," said one. "You’re a piece of shit and you’re embarrassing. What am I going to do? Nothing, you’re going to die on your own." The unidentified meat-eater remained silent—except, of course, for the chewing and salivating noises coming from his mouth.

A young female activist flew into a rage: "It feels good? You and your small dick and your pussy way of killing animals and it feels good in front of the vegans, huh?" And again, "It feels good with your small dick?" asked the woman who professes not to eat meat.

But our hero didn’t say a word, content to eat, lick, and savor the kebab as God intended. Which reminds us of Homer Simpson’s trenchant observation: "If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?"

The protest continued at Nike (apparently the company uses leather from kangaroo, though we’re pretty sure they make for great steaks too). And eventually the man with the shish kebab went on his way, no doubt satiated by a savory piece of grilled meat and satisfied that he had skewered the activists’ minds.


It’s not always easy to stand up to tyrants. And this man on a mission was armed with nothing but a stick of meat—we are in awe. So congratulations to our courageous carnivore, a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.