Culture

2019 Man of the Year: Kellyanne Conway’s Husband

Did your wife catch you ogling a bit too long at Kate Upton's latest Instagram post? Maybe she got a bit upset after she found you passed out drunk on the couch this morning after saying you'd be right home to clean out the gutters? Are you taking heat because she noticed a credit card charge at the local titty bar from that day you said you were stuck working late at the office?

Our suggested response: "Hey, at least I’m not George Conway."

George Thomas Conway III, best known as the husband to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, has done the impossible and made husbands across America look great.

Most husbands don’t demean their wives' careers. Most husbands don't center their lives around insulting their wives' bosses. Most husbands don't go out of their way to pal around with people who dress up and mock their wives just to get a few cheap laughs. But George does, and it has made him hugely popular with the talking heads on MSNBC and CNN and a big hit with celebrities.

George wasn’t always like this. He was once supportive of Kellyanne and even considered a job in the Trump administration that he now obsessively criticizes.

While it is unfortunate that George has decided to publicly undermine his more successful and influential wife, it has proven to be great for husbands across the country.

The "at least I’m not George Conway" defense will be used across America as wives point out the shortcomings of the men in their lives. These great, understanding American women will surely pause and realize how grateful they are to have: a husband who is supportive of his wife's career, a husband who doesn’t publicly trash her boss, and a husband who doesn’t use his marriage to make friends with people who hate his wife.

The married men of America salute you, George Conway, for making us all look terrific. You may not have gotten your dream job at the Justice Department, but your behavior has earned you the prestigious title of Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.