Parody

NO KIDDING: America’s Children Weigh in on the Trump-Biden Debate

One of the perks of being a professional journalist is all the text messages we get from friends explaining how their children reacted to various political events. CNN's Jake Tapper, for example, shared one of these exchanges on air following the first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden.

CENTER STAGE: Five Crucial Tax Questions for Joe Biden

The American people deserve answers

President Donald Trump and former vice president Joe Biden will square off in Cleveland on Tuesday in the first presidential debate. They will discuss a number of issues, including whether or not Biden is under the influence of performance-enhancing drugs, and why his campaign refused to submit to an earpiece inspection.

I Forced A Bot to Write an Amy Coney Barrett Story Based on Media Reporting and This Was the Result

Using advanced algorithmic technology purchased on the dark web, the Washington Free Beacon has created a bot capable of performing journalism at a professional level. This week, we forced the bot to review media reports on Amy Coney Barrett, the frontrunner to be President Donald Trump's nominee to the Supreme Court, and asked it to write its own report based on that analysis. Here is the result.

Joe Kennedy III Makes History

Wet-mouthed prodigy becomes first member of depraved political dynasty to lose election in Massachusetts

America is polarized. There aren't too many electoral outcomes that could actually unify, rather than divide, our beautiful country. Fortunately, one of those outcomes has been achieved. America prevailed.