Parody

Joe Kennedy III Makes History

Wet-mouthed prodigy becomes first member of depraved political dynasty to lose election in Massachusetts

America is polarized. There aren't too many electoral outcomes that could actually unify, rather than divide, our beautiful country. Fortunately, one of those outcomes has been achieved. America prevailed.

America Is Polarized. One Thing Can Still Unite Us: Rooting for Joe Kennedy to Fail

Wet-mouthed scion of depraved political dynasty must not prevail

Election Day is fast approaching and the country remains as polarized as ever. Political meaning has been grafted onto every decision we make in our daily lives. To have the wrong opinion is to commit an act of violence. Refusing to take sides is just as harmful, if not more so, than picking the bad side.