When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
The Republic for Which It Stands, U.S.A. — President Donald J. Trump etched his name upon the stones of history this week, proclaiming it to be "in the best interest of our Country" for grace and decency to prevail. His noble sacrifice, upon the altar of our Founders' Dream, will never be forgotten.
In a tweeted declaration as eloquent in reality as Barack Obama imagines himself to be inside his twisted fantasy, Trump stared down the Chinese tanks of national malaise, asserting his full cooperation "with regard to initial protocols" that govern the peaceful transfer of executive power.
The headlines followed. "BREAKING NEWS: Trump lets administration begin Biden transition." The use of the word "let" is worth unpacking. It has another meaning: to rent, as in an apartment. Trump knows real estate and, in a way, he rented himself to the nation, free of charge, these past four years.
He gave us shelter from the storm, safety in his warm embrace, and comfort in the lavish bounty of his heart, coursing thick with empathy. We'll miss it when he's gone.
The libs were wrong, as always. They were expecting a coup, an autogolpe of the cruelest kind. They wouldn't have been able to stop it, either. They're a bunch of cowards. Impassioned voters stood by their president and demanded the will of the people be heard, libs be damned. The hard right's foremost intellectual and fiercest rhetorician made the case.
Trump had other ideas. Unlike his opponents, he believed in democracy. With a confidence gained from years of dominance in the field of athletics, among other areas, Trump allowed the system to work.
What transpired was a coup de grâce, a final blow of mercy to the lewd delusions harbored over the last four years, a solemn prayer: that the deranged minds of wicked libs may find peace, at last.
With two simple words—"initial protocols"—Trump laid down his mighty sword. What evil forces lurk out there, he would fight them for us, if not as commander in chief, then as a private citizen whose sense of duty compels him to put country first.
Trump triumphed in the end, as he so often does, as only he can. He didn't even need a second term. He'd accomplished all he set out to achieve. Perhaps, like so many of us, even Trump himself had grown tired of winning.
America is a better place for having welcomed him into the People's House, which frankly was a step down compared with his many other homes. Next stop, Mount Rushmore?