Satire

Lib Journo: I’d Vote for Biden Even If ‘He Boiled Babies And Ate Them’

At least one liberal journalist would cast a vote for Joe Biden even if the former vice president consumed the boiled flesh of infants, which sounds a lot worse than shooting someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue.

"I would vote for Joe Biden if he boiled babies and ate them," writes Katha Pollitt, a columnist for the Nation, a left-wing publication with considerable pro-Russian sympathies. "He wasn't my candidate, but taking back the White House is that important."

Pollitt's pledge to support a child-murdering cannibal in the 2020 election came in an article challenging the credibility of Tara Reade, the ex-staffer who accused Biden of sexually assaulting her in 1993. Even if Reade is telling the truth, Pollitt argues, liberals should vote for Biden because "We do not have the luxury of sitting out the election to feel morally pure or send a message about sexual assault and #BelieveWomen."

This appears to be a relatively common sentiment among liberals with social media accounts, at least one of whom responded to an Intercept article on new evidence supporting Reade's allegation by writing: "I would vote for Biden if he raped 100 women at gun point. The stakes are high in this election."

Biden has a habit of urging people to vote for someone else, recently suggesting that Americans who believe Reade's accusation "probably shouldn't vote for me." Surveys suggest a significant percentage of the population—a majority, according to some polls—think Reade is telling the truth. In any event, it would seem that for some voters there's no crime Biden could possibly commit to lose their support.