2020 Election

The Wit and Wisdom of Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg

The 'white Obama' wunderkind has mastered the art of political rhetoric

Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg, the 38-year-old presidential candidate who previously served as mayor of Indiana's fourth-largest city, is the Democratic Party's most gifted rhetorician since Barack H. Obama. His deep-voiced demeanor and majestic oratorical prowess have made him a formidable candidate among a select demographic of wealthy whites with graduate degrees.

BERN IT DOWN: Sanders Torches the Establishment, Cruises to Victory in Nevada Caucus

LAS VEGAS — Lesson learned. Attend a Democratic caucus with a beard on your face, and everyone there will naturally assume you represent the Bernie Sanders campaign. You'll be tempted to say yes, because it always feels good to win in Vegas. Because on this otherwise normal Saturday in the epicenter of capitalism, a 78 year old socialist has claimed victory, and laid waste to the Democratic Party.