President Joe Biden and his fellow Democrats have finally solved so-called climate change, according to media reports celebrating the Senate passage of the "IRS Expansion" bill over the weekend.
While the Senate was still considering amendments to what critics have called the "Tax-Code Terrorism Authorization Act," the POLITICO Playbook newsletter (presented by Facebook) congratulated Biden for "making history." One of the bill's most notable provisions calls for an unprecedented expansion of the Internal Revenue Service by as many as 87,000 new agents to harass middle-class Americans who can't afford expensive attorneys. The historic legislation would make the federal tax enforcement agency larger than the Pentagon, State Department, FBI, and Border Patrol combined.
"Biden has been a consequential president," the POLITICO declared, noting that the federal government has approved nearly $3.5 trillion in new spending on his watch. "In the long run, his first two years may be remembered as akin to LBJ when it comes to moving his agenda through Congress." (Context: Lyndon B. Johnson, a Democrat who may or may not have played a role in the JFK assassination, was a virulent racist.)
Other media outlets praised the Democratic legislation for solving so-called climate change by spending lots of money. The New York Times called it "the most significant federal investment in history to counter climate change." The Washington Post applauded "the biggest burst of spending in U.S. history to tackle global warming" while reporting that Sen. Brian Schatz (D., Hawaii) "broke into tears" as it became clear the bill would pass and climate change would be solved once and for all.
The so-called Middle-Class Audit bill, which is expected to pass the House later this week, aims to solve climate change by giving families who earn $300,000 a year a $7,500 tax credit to buy an $80,000 electric SUV. By ruthlessly enforcing the federal tax code through IRS expansion, the bill would ensure that Americans have less money to spend on gasoline, ground beef, and other harmful products that contribute to climate change. It would also authorize $10 million "to fund the activities of one or more equity commissions that will address racial equity issues with the Department of Agriculture."
After approving the legislation to solve climate change, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D., N.Y.) echoed the media coverage by praising his colleagues for "making history." By passing the bill, Schumer argued, Democrats had ushered in "the era of affordable clean energy in America. It's a game changer, it's a turning point and it's been a long time coming."
That isn't the sort of language a prominent politician would ever use to describe a piece of legislation that does anything less than permanently solve climate change. Now that the issue is off the table for good, Democratic politicians will have more time to focus on other priorities, such as abolishing the police and giving nuclear weapons to a state sponsor of terrorism. Monday's edition of the POLITICO Playbook (presented by Facebook) suggested a new nuclear deal with Iran could be "Biden's next big win" following a string of legislative successes that could only be described as "historic."