Cal Cunningham Threatens to Unseat John Edwards As North Carolina's Horniest Democrat

October 7, 2020

Cal Cunningham, the Democratic Party's controversial nominee for Senate in North Carolina, is threatening to unseat disgraced former Sen. John Edwards (D., N.C.) as the horniest Democrat in the history of the Tar Heel State.

Cunningham, a married father of two, has gone into hiding since becoming embroiled in an extramarital sex scandal that has grown increasingly problematic with each passing day as new information comes to light. On Tuesday, for example, the Associated Press spoke to one of Cunningham's alleged mistresses, Arlene Guzman Todd, who confirmed that the two had "weird" sexual relations in Cunningham's home in North Carolina.

Guzman Todd, who is herself married, also confirmed the authenticity of text messages in which she acknowledged having "naked photos" of the Senate candidate in her possession. The text exchanges, between Guzman Todd and an unnamed friend, reveal that the secret lovers were in contact as recently as August, when Guzman Todd said she wished Cunningham a happy birthday. "I want to unwrap you today," the candidate responded.

According to the texts, Guzman Todd was growing frustrated with her relationship with Cunningham, whom she described as "not even cute enough for me" and not deserving of her "p—y." She also described "trying to make plans to see the politician so I can give him the f— of his life and then walk away."

Guzman Todd, who is married to Army Sergeant Jeremy Todd, said the affair with Cunningham, an officer in the Army Reserve, occurred "during a period of marital separation," and apologized for her "lapse in judgment." The U.S. military considers adultery to be "unacceptable conduct" that could be "service discrediting." On Wednesday, the Army Reserve said it had opened an investigation into Cunningham, who has frequently invoked his service in an effort to portray himself as the "integrity" candidate.

Cunningham has dropped off the map since last Friday, when he issued a statement apologizing for having "hurt my family" and urging the media to respect his "privacy." He has declined interviews with local media outlets, and canceled an appearance at a town hall event on Monday. Cunningham is scheduled to appear Wednesday at a virtual fundraiser with Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D., Ill.).

Cunningham's opponent, Sen. Thom Tillis (R., N.C.), has said the Democratic candidate owes voters a "full and thorough explanation" of his deviant behavior, a sentiment shared by the Charlotte Observer editorial board. The newspaper's editors on Tuesday urged Cunningham to break his silence and "explain himself."

The candidate finally broke his silence on Wednesday when a local reporter spotted Cunningham out in public, but the Democrat declined to elaborate on his infidelity. "Look, I've made it clear that I've hurt my family, and that I've disappointed my supporters," Cunningham said. "This campaign isn't about my personal life, it's about the people of North Carolina."

Meanwhile, GOP-aligned outside groups have hit the airwaves with a series of attack ads focused on the sex scandal, including one that suggests North Carolina voters "don't need another John Edwards in the Senate," a reference to the legendary philanderer who fathered a love child with a former campaign aide while his wife was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

Edwards, a Democrat who served as a senator from North Carolina from 1999 to 2005, and as John Kerry's running mate in 2004, was in the running to be Barack Obama's pick for U.S. attorney general before Edwards admitted to the affair in August 2008. Edwards didn't admit to fathering the love child with former campaign aide Rielle Hunter until January 2010, less than a year before his wife's death from cancer.

At the rate things are progressing in the Cunningham scandal, Edwards may have to relinquish his title as North Carolina's horniest Democrat. Condolences!