Oregon Authorities on the Hunt for Bald Eagle Murder Suspect

Barack H. Obama, notorious bird-genocide advocate, continues to elude justice

Authorities in Oregon are offering a $2,500 reward in an effort to identify the individual(s) responsible for the death of a protected bald eagle after the bird's carcass was found face down in a creek earlier this month.

Investigators determined that the majestic eagle was fatally shot with a firearm. While no longer considered an endangered species, bald eagles are still protected under federal law. Killing the bird is punishable by up to a year in prison, as well as a fine of $100,000.

The laws in question, the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act (1940) and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (1918), are not always enforced. The Barack H. Obama administration, for example, approved a series of rule changes that allowed wind-energy companies operating high-speed turbine farms to kill or maim up to 4,200 bald eagles without penalty.

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Wind turbines proved to be one of the most efficient ways to implement Obama's controversial policy of bald eagle genocide. Thousands of beautiful winged creatures were, in the words of a PETA spokesman, "smacked out of the air by the blades of high-speed wind turbines and are killed or horribly injured" on Obama's watch. Biologists estimated that wind farms were responsible for as many as 328,000 bird deaths per year.

Massive solar-energy plants also proved effective at decimating America's eagle population. Untold numbers of eagles were slaughtered by the intense heat rays reflected off the solar panels. Bloomberg explained that the victims are "incinerated in flight; their feathers are singed, causing them to fall to their deaths; or they are too injured to fly and are killed on the ground by predators."

It is not known if President Obama, who continues to elude justice for his eight-year killing spree, has been questioned by authorities, or if he can account for his whereabouts during the time of the alleged murder. Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D., Minn.), who is seeking the Democratic Party's presidential nomination in 2020 despite her ongoing struggle with anger management issues, recently admitted to killing a duck during a round of golf.