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GREAT AGAIN: Nationals Become 2nd DC Sports Franchise to Win Title on Trump's Watch

October 31, 2019

The Washington Nationals on Wednesday night defeated the Houston Astros to win the World Series and become the second Washington, D.C., sports franchise to win a title on President Donald J. Trump's watch. The team's victory marks yet another accomplishment for Trump that his predecessor, Barack H. Obama, was never able to achieve in his eight years of failed leadership.

The Nationals are taking home the Commissioner's Trophy despite an ungrateful fanbase comprised almost entirely of wealthy lobbyists and bandwagon hipsters with little-to-no sports knowledge. The team might have ended the series sooner had their fans not callously booed President Trump during Game Five at Nationals Park, where the historically successful commander-in-chief was greeted by chants of "lock him up!" following his successful assassination of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. The Nats went on to lose seven to one, before winning the final two games at Minute Maid Park in Houston, Texas, a legitimate state with voting rights that supported Trump in the 2016 election.

Their stunning World Series victory means the Nationals are now the second D.C. sports franchise to win a title on Trump's watch. The city's NHL team, the Washington Capitals, won the Stanley Cup in 2018.

D.C. teams did not win a single title during the eight years of the failed Obama presidency. Additionally, golf legend Tiger Woods did not win a single major championship during Obama's two terms in office, but ended his so-called "Obama drought" in dramatic fashion by winning the 2019 Masters.

A number of sports experts have documented what many have dubbed the "Obama curse." NBA star rookie Zion Williamson, for example, suffered a freak injury when his shoe exploded on Obama's watch in the opening minutes of a crucial Duke-UNC rivalry game. Earlier this year, Obama received a standing ovation in Canada during Game Two of the NBA finals between the Toronto Raptors and the Golden State Warriors, and even though the American team went on to win that game, several of their star players suffered bizarre injuries that ultimately sunk their hopes of winning the title.

Nationals fans are rightfully celebrating their team's improbable World Series victory, but at the end of the day, every American is a winner thanks to President Trump's successful efforts to restore the country's greatness and rid the earth of terrorist scum. There might come a day when Americans tire of all the winning, and the unprecedented economic success the president has engineered through a combination of policy genius and superhuman physical stamina. But today is not that day.