The liberals in the media, as they always do, had it all figured out. Using their Google machines, they were able to locate the highly reputable Urban Dictionary website. On the website, the sleuths found, was irrefutable proof that Devil's Triangle was not a drinking game, as Brett Kavanaugh said it was, but rather a specific type of threesome with one chick and two dudes, where the dudes make sure not to make eye contact.
And they would gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the courage of the guys who actually invented the game to submit the official rules to the Senate Judiciary Committee.
The four men—DeLancey Davis, Bernard McCarthy, Jr., Paul Murray, and Matthew Quinn—went to high school at Georgetown Prep with Kavanaugh, and felt that they needed to defend the honor of their beloved game.
"Devil's Triangle was a drinking game we came up with in high school," the men wrote in the letter. "It was a variation on the game Quarters."
"If the phrase Devil's Triangle had any sexual meaning in the early 1980s, we did not know it," they wrote.
Beyond the service of confirming the existence of the Devil's Triangle game, the men did the service of laying out the rules for the rest of us, who, like our great new Supreme Court justice, like beer.
They are as follows:
When we played "Devil's Triangle," four people sat at a table. On the table, three small glasses of beer were arranged next to one another to form a triangle. Each of the four participants took turns being the "shooter." The shooter attempted to bounce a quarter into one of the glasses. If the quarter landed in one of the glasses, the person at the table sitting nearest that glass had to drink the beer.
Just as honorable were Greg Aceto and Bill Van Pelt IV, who also wrote to the Senate Judiciary Committee. They didn't go to Georgetown Prep, but they did go college with our buddy from the first letter, Matthew Quinn, who brought the game up to Boston College with him.
They hadn't seen or spoken to Kavanaugh in more than 25 years, but felt the need to go on the record in defense of Devil's Triangle.
"We are not from the Washington, D.C. area," they wrote in a separate letter. "However, during our first year at Boston College, we lived with Matthew Quinn, who is an alumnus of Georgetown Prep and was a classmate of Brett's. Matthew taught us a drinking game called Devil's Triangle that he had played with his friends in high school."
"We did not understand "Devil's Triangle" to have any sexual meaning," they wrote. It was simply a game that used cups or glasses of beer placed in the shape of a triangle.
These six men put their necks on the line not just to defend a great man, but also a great drinking game. For defending Devil's Triangle, and beer gamers everywhere, you're all Washington Free Beacon Men of the Year.
Published under: Men of the Year