2018 Man of the Year: The Notorious RBG['s Personal Trainer]

Bryant Johnson
Bryant Johnson
December 31, 2018

She could have retired.

Obama was president for eight years. Democrats controlled the Senate for six of those years. The Notorious RBG's dominion over the unwashed hordes of liberal meme fiends was at its peak. Out on top, she would have gone—into the sunset, replaced by a young liberal justice who shared her views. How simple it would have been.

Perhaps she didn't trust the Choom Gang commander-in-chief. Maybe it was his "Chicago vibe." You see, despite her exalted status among so-called progressives, RBG was not a fan of racial equality when it came to her hiring practices. She found Colin Kaepernick's national anthem shenanigans to be "dumb and disrespectful."

Ginsburg probably felt more comfortable letting an elderly white woman choose her replacement. After all, it was a Clinton who put her on the Supreme Court. Only fitting to have a Clinton choose her replacement. Her 80th birthday came and went. Just hold on a few more years, she told herself. Surely Hillary couldn't lose again. (She could.)

And here we are. And now there is a chance that Donald Trump, a man whose election as president Ginsburg "[didn't] even want to contemplate," will nominate another conservative frat star as her successor.

For this, we owe a debt of gratitude to Bryant Johnson, RBG's personal trainer of nearly 20 years. If Johnson had not been so diligent about keeping his notorious client in peak physical condition, she might have been more reluctant to remain on the court for so long.

RBG hopes her twice-weekly, hour-long routines at the gym will help her remain on the court for another five years, at which point President Trump will be ramping up his campaign for a third term in office.

"She is like a machine, she keeps going, she keeps going," Johnson says of Ginsburg's tenacious approach to her routine of "full-strength planks, push-ups, chest and shoulder presses, bicep and leg curls, one-legged squats and knee raises."

Bless you, Bryant Johnson, for your sweat-drenched service to the cause of conservative jurisprudence.

Published under: Men of the Year