Analysis: What in the Actual F— Is Wrong With These People?

November 26, 2022

You can't make this up. Earlier this month, some dough-faced dork named Sam Bankman-Fried—an MIT grad and son of Stanford law professors—vaporized the GDP of a small country after successfully conning the entire world of so-called educated elites.

All of them. The freaks in Silicon Valley, the freaks on Wall Street, the freaks in Hollywood, and the freaks in Washington. Even (or especially) the journalists who are supposed to be holding everyone accountable. The smartest, most enlightened professional experts and self-appointed moral referees.

Bill Clinton. Tony Blair. The Democratic Party. Larry David. Tom Brady. Fortune magazine. Andrew Ross Sorkin. CNBC. The bald guy from Shark Tank. BlackRock, the $10 trillion investment firm where former Obama aides go to get rich and serve as "Global Head of Sustainable Investing."

They all vouched for Bankrupt-Fraud and his blockchain stonk machine. Like they vouched for Elizabeth Holmes and her magic blood box. Like they vouched for Michael Avenatti and his bullshit litigation racket. The Lincoln Project. OZY Media. Stacey Abrams.

These are people who demand to be taken seriously. You know the type. You've probably heard them ranting about gullible rubes being duped by "misinformation," or denouncing half the country as irredeemably stupid, unserious, and uncultured.

Shockingly enough, most normal Americans are starting to suspect our elite overlords are full of shit, and the elite overlords are freaking out. This lack of fealty to their expertise is not merely misguided, we are told. It's an existential crisis imperiling American democracy.

This raises an interesting question: What in the actual f— is wrong with these people?

Bankman-Fried was the next J.P. Morgan. They actually said that. Of course they did. They adored his dorm-room bong-rip attire and corresponding philosophy—"effective altruism"—through which their capitalist sins can be absolved by attending charity galas and buying hideous art at silent auctions. Better yet, they can start a charitable foundation to avoid paying the tax rates they are constantly trying to raise on everyone else. Giving money to Democrats is also encouraged.

Time and time again, the unwashed masses of non-experts have watched the elite overlords get scammed by charismatic frauds, or team up to incinerate multiple Powerball jackpots—or in one case the entire global economy—only to shrug it off as a "whoopsie" and repeat.

They've been mocked as morally depraved by the same people who partied with Harvey Weinstein and attended his political fundraisers. The same people who hobnobbed with Jeffrey Epstein—before and after his conviction for sex crimes.

They've been lectured at for driving SUVs and complaining about gas prices by millionaires who fly around the world on leather sofas in private jets with nicknames like "Air F— One" and "Lolita Express," and shamed for being unable to afford an electric car that costs more than their annual salary.

They've been denounced as racist and subjected to corporate diversity training by woke weirdos who say "Latinx" and hyperventilate about "Jim Crow on steroids" when voter turnout is through the roof. The same people who attack successful black conservatives as angry, ignorant traitors.

They were told it was totally unreasonable to want their children to go back to school during the pandemic by the same experts who said mass public gatherings were safe as long as they were supporting a righteous left-wing cause.

They were called "out of touch" by the same political gurus who touted Beto O'Rourke, Elizabeth Warren, and Pete Buttigieg as the next generation of transformative leaders.

And they wonder why no one takes them seriously anymore.

To hell with these people.