Star Wars: The Liberal Menace

December 28, 2015

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Democrats have had a difficult year. After losing control of the Senate, falling behind even further in the House of Representatives, and getting swept in state legislature and governor races across the country, the lame-duck presidency of Barack Obama is all liberals have to hold on to.

Their only hope, Hillary Clinton, looked more like Anakin Skywalker than Luke. With all their faith in the coronation of Clinton, Democrats were in for a rough journey through months of her private email server scandal. America’s belief in the former secretary of state’s honesty and trustworthy plummeted and liberals started to "Feel the Bern."

The fear of losing total control of the government next year and the chaos in the Middle East have pressured Democrats into making more than a few bizarre statements. Here are some of the craziest things Democrats have said in 2015:

Obama admitted he does not have a strategy to defeating the terrorist organization attempting to establish a caliphate in the Middle East, but still would expect to win reelection for a third term if the Constitution allowed it.

Former president Bill Clinton has to pay his bills, therefore, he must continue to give speeches to foreign entities seeking influence in U.S. policy.

Hillary Clinton learned what "suh’mores" are and created her own Snapchat account.

Secretary of State John Kerry declared his understanding of the legitimacy and rationale behind the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attack in Paris.

Marie Harf diagnosed the reason for the rise in global terrorism. She said that a lack of jobs in the Middle East is giving young men and women no choice but to join the jihadist movement.

Jennifer Palmieri stuttered a lot in 2015. A lot.

Josh Earnest will happily refer you to another department to answer your questions.

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D., Mo.) just wants men to shut up and shotgun a beer with her.

Sen. Chris Murphy (D., Conn.) talked about tapeworms on the Senate floor.

Rep. Brendan Boyle (D., Pa.) began the "War on Oreos."

And Vice President Joe Biden got his hands on everybody. No one was spared.

"To state the obvious the past six years have been really, really hard on this country," Biden said, expressing a sentiment everyone already knew. "And have been really tough on our party. Just ask Steve."

Steve did not respond immediately to a request for comment from the Free Beacon.