WATCH: Biden Bumbles His Way Through First WH Press Conference

'The best way to get something done if you hold near and dear to you that you like to be able to,' the president explained

March 25, 2021

President Joe Biden struggled through his first official press conference on Thursday, pausing frequently to check his notes on the podium and occasionally losing his train of thought as if distracted by the voices echoing madly in his geriatric brain.

The president appeared somewhat lucid at times but didn't always communicate in a comprehensible fashion. "This makes Jim Crow look like Jim Eagle," Biden said in response to a question about so-called voting rights legislation.

On that topic, Biden cited Republican opposition to Democratic-approved bills as a reason for his willingness to consider eliminating the Senate filibuster to avoid "complete lockdown and chaos" in Congress.

"The best way to get something done if you, if you hold near and dear to you that you, uh, um, like to be able to," Biden clarified. "Anyway … I, we're going to get a lot done."

Regarding the immigration crisis on the southern border, Biden assured reporters that he would "commit to transparency" in the near future. How soon? "As soon as I am in a position to implement what we're doing right now," he explained. "I don't know," he added.

Biden also issued a thinly veiled threat against Vice President Kamala Harris, who has been tasked with leading the administration's response to the border crisis. "It's going to get a whole hell of a lot better real quick or we're going to hear some people leaving," he said of the situation at the border. "We can get this done."

Yamiche Alcindor, White House correspondent for PBS News Hour, grilled Biden on whether the border crisis was being fueled by "the perception of you, that got you elected, as a moral, decent man." Biden demurred. "I guess I should be flattered," he said, but went on to suggest that most illegal immigrants were crossing the border for other reasons.

Biden conspicuously declined to take a question from Fox News reporter Peter Doocy, with whom the president has sparred in the past. On one occasion during the 2020 primary, Biden berated Doocy for asking about the love child his son, Hunter Biden, fathered with a stripper. "That's a private matter. I have no comment," Biden seethed. "Only you would ask that. You're a good man. Classy."

Months later, Biden lashed out at Doocy in response to a question about Hunter's shady business dealings in Ukraine. "Ask the right question!" Biden barked at Doocy after repeatedly jabbing his finger at the reporter.

When pressed on his plans to run for reelection in 2024, the president bristled at the female reporter who asked the question. "That is my expectation," Biden huffed at the noble journalist who was just trying to do her job by reporting the truth. "I don't know where you guys come from, man." He added that he would "fully expect" Harris to be his running mate, adding that the VP is "doing a great job." For now, anyway.