From Shredded Abs to Shredding Zionists, WaPo Columnist Condemns Israel for Defending Itself

'We cannot stand by and watch Israel commit atrocities,' says Karen Attiah

(kinetic.karen Instagram)
October 16, 2023

Less than a week after Hamas unleashed the deadliest attack on the Jewish state, Washington Post weightlifting enthusiast Karen Attiah took a break from her stomach crunches and bicep curls to pen a column condemning Israel for fighting back.

The "United States cannot stand by and allow Israel to carry out the collective punishment it has declared it will exact," writes Attiah, flexing her anti-Israel muscles. "It cannot stand by as Israeli officials engage in genocidal language and describe genocidal intent against Palestinians for the actions of Hamas." That Hamas is to blame for storing munitions in hospitals, mosques, and schools, and uses human shields, goes unmentioned, like the sweat you forget to wipe off the bench.

"I would hope that the 'only democracy in the Middle East' would learn from the United States' mistakes and atrocities, end the occupation, oust the walking bag of right-wing corruption that is Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and call for a cease-fire," says Attiah. How fortunate for us that she decided to take a breather from her diatribe against HarperCollins for halting publication of her book on Jamal Khashoggi in order to go after… Israel. (And why is the "only democracy in the Middle East" in quotes? Does Attiah have doubts, the way we doubt she puts the weight plates back on the storage bar after her supersets? That would be a violation of international gym law!)

"If the sadistic status quo keeps up," says our chiseled columnist, "the only winners of these cycles of violence will be the weapons dealers—while the rest of us lose our common, shared humanity." Talk about negative training: The best way for this cycle of violence to end is if Israel just lets its enemies kill as many of its people as possible and doesn't fight back? What would be a proportionate response to the worst massacre of Jews since the Holocaust? We'll assume Israel ignores the Post columnist's advice and handles Hamas like Karen Attiah squeezing a fully loaded barbell during the clean and jerk—with an iron grip and not a moment's hesitation.