Sayonara, Keg Sweats! This Brett Kavanaugh-Inspired Pizza Looks Like The Perfect Hangover Cure

The 'pizza justice' makes his mark on the high court cafeteria

Brett Kavanaugh's official duties as the junior member of the Supreme Court include running the cafeteria. That's great news for ambitious young law clerks who love beer but don't want a pesky hangover to get in the way of their own duties advising the justices and/or babysitting Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Roll Call reports that the Supreme Court cafeteria has started serving pizza at Kavanaugh's request. The junior justice actually joked about the lack of pizza in November during a speech at the Federalist Society.

"When I arrived, I noticed the cafeteria did not serve pizza," Kavanaugh said. "I thought, ‘What an outrage.' My legacy is secure. It's fine by me if I'm ever known as the ‘pizza justice.'"

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Roll Call even went so far as to review the new pizza offering, giving it two stars out of five while praising the generous pepperoni topping and the affordable price:

The crust is slightly burnt around the edges where the cheese bubbles. The pepperonis are large, oily and plentiful, so no complaints there….

If you’re looking for a flavor comparison, I’d rank it just below Pizza Hut and just above the average gas station offering.

The meal comes with a small container of mesclun greens that some people (not me) would call a salad. And at $8, it’s a decent price point.

Food critics are unlikely to be impressed, but it's safe to say that Brett has scored a hit with this one, and is already living up to his reputation as the "pizza justice." There's no better option than a greasy pizza when it comes to delivering sustenance to the body after a long night of kegging. How it looks, or even how it tastes, is irrelevant. It's pizza, for crying out loud.

Here's hoping that Kavanaugh can continue to make his mark on the cafeteria in what little time he has left before President Donald J. Trump inevitably nominates another highly qualified justice to the Supreme Court.