Donald Trump Wins Democratic Debate

All he does is win. (AP)
• October 13, 2015 11:33 pm


Five old white people stood on stage Tuesday night and argued about who would be the best candidate to represent the "party of the future." They all lost. The true winner of the contest was sitting at home in a fabulous tuxedo. No, not Mitt Romney. The winner of the first Democratic primary debate was Republican frontrunner Donald J. Trump.

Trump, who live-tweeted the affair, deployed Nixonian wit to create powerful word-images that painted a picture of American Truth: Everyone on stage that night was a loser. A few of them might have what it takes to make it through the Democratic primary, but there has yet to be a candidate from either party who has demonstrated the leadership qualities of The Donald. His words speak for themselves.

He's authentic, relatable, and isn't afraid to tell it like it is…

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.37.21 PM

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.36.59 PM

He sees the bigger picture, and has tremendous insight into how other prominent billionaires think…

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.35.22 PM

He doesn't hesitate to let his opponents know when they're drifting off topic…

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.35.00 PM

He's a voice for everyday Tweeters…

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.24.53 PM

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 10.26.12 PM

He's gracious enough to compliment the candidates who share his political views…

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 11.16.01 PM

He's got what it takes to be president…



Disclaimer: Some of these tweets may be fake.