Donald J. Trump, the Republican frontrunner who has repeatedly promised to "Make American Great Again," participated in organized soccer as a high school student approaching the age of legal adulthood, the Free Beacon has learned.
The following was published in the 1964 edition of the New York Military Academy yearbook:
Recent Stories in Politics
Since announcing his presidential campaign, "The Donald" has sought to downplay this controversial element of his past by adopting a slogan, "Make America Great Again." The phrase assumes a sinister irony in light of Trump's decision to play varsity soccer at the nearly legal age of 17. Most patriotic Americans stop playing soccer at around age nine, because it's lame and rewards weakness. It's also very popular in Mexico.
Soccer games are typically low scoring affairs and, unlike the vast majority of actual sports contests, are permitted to end in a tie. They often do. Free shots on goals are routinely awarded to players who fall down theatrically. Most of the fancy men on the field are not allowed to use their hands, a very important and capable body part. International play is modeled after Barack Obama's global vision, in which the United States is "just another country" and is happy to secure a zero-zero tie against Togo. The men's national team has been invaded by foreigners. These are a few of the reasons why soccer is fundamentally un-American.
Trump recently described American football as "boring."