The most recent Quinnipiac poll is awful news for Hillary Clinton. Most voters don’t view her in a favorable light, and the first words that come to mind when they think of her are “liar,” “dishonest,” and “untrustworthy,” while “bitch” and “murder” are slightly lower down the list. She’s getting outperformed by Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden in head-to-head match-ups with the leading Republican candidates. Democratic voters seem to be holding out for Joe, because they love him.
Remember that time Hillary Clinton thought she would win the Democratic nomination and then become president only to be thwarted by a plucky upstart named Barack Obama? That must have been pretty humiliating. It’s easy to forgot how nasty that race was. On #ThrowbackThursday, we invite you to recall the good old days of sick burns, witty barbs, and John Edwards.
Donald Trump is dominating the 2016 Republican field, and has shown no sign of slowing down. Some of the other candidates are beginning to take him seriously, and have tried to attack. But if they really want to get under The Donald’s skin, they’re going have to do better than this:
— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) August 20, 2015
That’s some weak tea, and it’s not going to work. If anything, it’s counterproductive. The other Republican candidates can’t beat The Donald if they continue to abide by the Beltway political conventions that Trump brazenly defies on a daily basis. They have to beat him at his own game.
Republicans get asked about immigration all the time, mostly to get their reactions to something Donald Trump said, but not always. Democrats hardly ever get asked about immigration, and when they do it’s always to get their reaction to something a Republican said (in response to an actual question about immigration).
Immigration is a controversial issue, and far more complex than the media coverage would have you believe. For example: “Should there be a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants?” is not the only question that requires an answer in the debate over immigration reform. If reporters really wanted to, they could force Democrats to weigh in on some of the more contentious (and severely under-covered) aspects of the immigration debate, by asking questions like…
Donald Trump is surging in the polls and thrusting his way into the hearts and minds of American voters. That thing with the stock market proves he’s right about China, just as he’s right about most things. It’s an empirical fact, for example, that Heidi Klum is no longer a 10—and we’re sorry, Heidi, not all women are tens, either. For speaking the truth about Klum alone, Trump will make a fabulous president. But the task of making America great again is bigger than any one tremendously classy man. History’s boldest leaders, such as Napoleon, have always surrounding themselves with top talent. Trump is sure to follow suit. Here is an exclusive look at his future cabinet:
The Joe Biden Express is about to leave the station, folks. With insurgent candidate Deez Nuts unlikely even to get his name on the ballot due to the fact that he is actually a 15-year-old bro from Iowa, a Biden presidency remains America’s last, best hope. After formally announcing his candidacy, Scranton Joe will embark on a whirlwind campaign tour, the Free Beacon can reveal:
God shed his grace on Deez
Our once great country is at a crossroads. America’s balls are in the air. Fate’s mighty sword is rising, soon to strike, but where? The girth of history hangs heavy like a bilious cloud, the gnarled claws of hubris reaching round to squeeze that vile juice. Our barren fields could use the rain, but at what cost? Some look to the sky and wonder: Will we ever be great again? Some are too ashamed to even ask.
There is only one candidate running in 2016 who can give us the answer we craze. I’m talking, of course, about Deez Nuts.
Media Matters! is a comic strip that documents the zany adventures of truth warriors David Brock and Eric Boehlert. They’ll stop at nothing to expose the lies behind the “mainstream” media’s conservative agenda to destroy Hillary Clinton. It’s a gritty business, where a single tweet could spell the difference between victory and despair, where media really does matter.
Note: The dialogue for these comics is comprised (almost exclusively) of verbatim quotes lifted from Boehlert’s Twitter feed.
Just as the scandal surrounding Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server as Secretary of State is heating up, a new Quinnipiac poll of the swing states Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania looks pretty bad for the Democratic frontrunner.