EXCLUSIVE: How to Back Hillary Clinton into a Corner

Hillary in a corner (artist's rendering)

THE POLITICO MAGAZINE has published an extensive report on the efforts of GOP operatives and “scoop factories” like the Washington Free Beacon to answer the “most pressing question” leading up to 2016 presidential race: How to back Hillary Clinton into a corner.

The Free Beacon’s team on analysts have been working on this project for while, and in light of the THE POLITICO story, we are finally ready to publish our preliminary findings. To back Hillary Clinton into a corner, simply consult the following charts.

It Pays to Be a Hagan

Kay Hagan celebrates with her husband, daughters, and son Tilden. (AP)

Unlike John Fogerty, Tilden Hagan is a Senator’s son, and, shockingly, things have worked out pretty well for him. By sheer coincidence, after his mom voted for the 2009 stimulus package, a company Tilden Hagan co-owned with his future brother-in-law was awarded a taxpayer-funded contract to install solar panels. The company overseeing the project, JDC Manufacturing, was, by sheer coincidence, owned by Tilden’s dad. The deal appears to have violated JDC’s own conflict-of-interest policy. Oh well.

VIDEO: Hillary Clinton Shouts Down Crowd Attempting to Wish Her Happy Birthday (She Turns 67 Today)

AP

Shortly before Hillary Clinton took the stage Saturday at a campaign event for Kay Hagan, a woman decked out in Hillary swag traversed the crowd informing attendees that the professional public speaker was about to have a birthday. (Clinton turned 67 on Sunday.) The plan was for everyone to sing Happy Birthday after Hagan introduced her guest of honor. It didn’t really work out, however, because Hillary just kept talking, and enough people in the crowd reflexively cheered after every sentence to drown out the singing.