Andrew Stiles

GREAT AGAIN: Nationals Become 2nd DC Sports Franchise to Win Title on Trump’s Watch

The Washington Nationals on Wednesday night defeated the Houston Astros to win the World Series and become the second Washington, D.C., sports franchise to win a title on President Donald J. Trump's watch. The team's victory marks yet another accomplishment for Trump that his predecessor, Barack H. Obama, was never able to achieve in his eight years of failed leadership.

Nationals Enjoy Delayed ‘Trump Bump’ in Real America

POTUS delivers crucial win to ungrateful fanbase

President Donald J. Trump delivered a crucial win for the Washington Nationals in game six of the World Series on Tuesday, a delayed result of his appearance at Nationals Park in game five, where he was callously booed by a crowd of Beltway lobbyists upset over his recent assassination of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Surviving Politicon

Part 2

NASHVILLE, TENN.—Day two arrives at Politicon, the "unconventional political convention" here at the Music City Center in downtown Nashville. Al Franken's awkward keynote address the previous night was a weird way to end the first day of festivities, but with big names like Touré, Lauren Duca, Chris Cillizza, Charlie Kirk, and Randy Rainbow on tap, attendees are primed for another full day of "endless humor and exhilarating conversation."

Surviving Politicon

Part 1

NASHVILLE, TENN.—Live music booms from the crowded bars on Broadway, the renowned Nashville thoroughfare teeming with pedestrians despite the dreary weather. Packed party wagons mosey past, blaring their own contributions to the unmistakable cacophony of normal people having fun.

Nationals Lose After Fans Boo Historically Successful President and Terrorist Assassin

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead and so are the Nats' chances of ever winning a title

The Washington Nationals lost a third consecutive World Series home game on Sunday in front of a sellout crowd of lobbyists and political consultants, a defeat that all but obliterates the team's hopes of lifting the Commissioner's Trophy and bringing a sliver of joy to the dreary lives of Washington, D.C., residents.

Rich Libs in Silicon Valley to Host ‘Poverty Simulation’

Will be held in Cupertino, site of Apple headquarters

Residents of Cupertino, Calif., and the surrounding enclaves populated by wealthy liberals will soon have the opportunity to attend a government-sponsored "poverty simulation" designed to educate participants on "the reality of a Silicon Valley that grows in disparity as much as prosperity."