Satire

ESPN Reporter Forced to Apologize for Not Caring About the WNBA (Like Everyone Else)

Like most of us, ESPN reporter Adam Schefter was thrilled to finally have a sporting event to watch on television. Thursday night's NFL draft was expected to break viewership records due to the desperation of American sports fans suffering in quarantine.

"For the first time in what feels like forever, a real live sporting event," Schefter tweeted as the draft got underway.

Like most of us, Schefter doesn't care about the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) and had either forgotten about or been totally oblivious to the WNBA draft, which had already taken place on April 17. Fewer than 400,000 people tuned in, a 123 percent increase over last year's draft viewership.

Schefter was immediately scolded by people with Twitter accounts who have nothing better to do. The scolding worked, and the woke trolls carried the day. Whether out of personal regret or professional compulsion, Schefter tweeted out an apology several hours later.

"My apooigies [sic] to anyone who was offended," Schefter wrote. "Was caught up in the moment of the NFL Draft and forgot about the WNBA Draft from last Friday night. Sorry."

It goes without saying that anyone offended by Schefter's tweet should not be allowed to watch sports, much less operate a social media account. Twitter user King Malc AKA The Levi Don spoke for many Americans when he addressed one of Schefter's scolds in the comments.

King Malc AKA The Levi Don wasn't alone, and it's safe to say that he and other righteous commenters recorded more dunks on the aggrieved woke soldiers in Schefter's replies than have ever been recorded in the history of the WNBA.