Sports

Nationals Enjoy Delayed ‘Trump Bump’ in Real America

POTUS delivers crucial win to ungrateful fanbase

President Donald J. Trump delivered a crucial win for the Washington Nationals in game six of the World Series on Tuesday, a delayed result of his appearance at Nationals Park in game five, where he was callously booed by a crowd of Beltway lobbyists upset over his recent assassination of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Nationals Lose After Fans Boo Historically Successful President and Terrorist Assassin

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead and so are the Nats' chances of ever winning a title

The Washington Nationals lost a third consecutive World Series home game on Sunday in front of a sellout crowd of lobbyists and political consultants, a defeat that all but obliterates the team's hopes of lifting the Commissioner's Trophy and bringing a sliver of joy to the dreary lives of Washington, D.C., residents.

Underachieving NBA Owner Ignores ‘Obama Curse,’ Seeks Advice From Former POTUS

Wizards fans should temper their expectations for upcoming season

Ted Leonsis, owner of the Washington Wizards, a perennially underachieving NBA franchise that has only made the playoffs four times in nine seasons under his ownership, and has never advanced beyond the conference semi-finals, continues to make questionable decisions in a effort to build a winning team.