Satire

I Forced A Bot to Read 1,000 Jennifer Rubin Columns And Write A Jennifer Rubin Column of Its Own

The Washington Free Beacon analytics bureau used a proprietary algorithm to program a bot to read 1,000 Jennifer Rubin columns and write its very own Jennifer Rubin column based on its analysis. This was the result:

Biden is right. Trump's disaster gambit lacks competence.

By Jennifer Rubin

President Trump tweeted rage on Wednesday, the worst in history. To compare with decent man Joe Biden, the difference is leadership courage. Trump possesses the bad qualities without precedent, said the expert. The expert is also a victim of Trump because he is an elite nonwhite immigrant.

That's why Trump invented birtherism, a sin of racism against Barack Obama. The respected African American was our most popular president who deserved to lose to Mitt Romney. The extreme right wants to deport him, according to the recent poll. Sadly, I regret the GOP emoluments culture that experienced a 90 percent increase in spineless anxiety, feverish to enable him. Congratulations, Mitch McConnell.

As we know, Trump helps Congress threaten a dangerous inaction. Never mind abandoned ethics, because the White House doesn't fit this falsehood-in-chief.  The president ignored coronavirus, which made evidence of Democratic Party to confirm a large government of inclusive science. It is hardly surprising that Trump would favor death, literally.

Emphasize these points: First, egregious Trump lies destroy facts. Second, we know Biden is the right president who made the decision perfectly. The Post reported it as antidote to Trump pandemic. Quote, said the Democrat. Third, ethics are compromised by downward economics. Trump dismantled justice for the first time in history without American support. Fourth, white grievance.

A fatal decision, folks. 

Needless to say, when Republican Party assault on Constitution, the result indicates Trump's ego lacks credibility. That's why the American people unsuccessfully avoided death on his watch. Use data to attack the virus, Andrew Cuomo explained. Trump's latest Twitter tantrum is evidence to the contrary, but female Nancy Pelosi is the reason why. The result: dysfunction, disunity, and disgrace.

It does not have to be that way. In other words, "elite" genocide is unwanted at this time, except by Trump. (I know, it's a confusing subject.) Fox News and extreme friends of right-wing media injected toxic money online, thanks to gerrymandering in Georgia. Pathetic, but true.

Let's be real: Biden's basement exoneration. His campaign partner, Bernie Sanders, injured himself in U.S.S.R. He doesn't have enough fruit to avoid death, according to capitalism poll. His brothers make noise. Fortunately for democracy, only Biden can rectify coronavirus nightmare with nuclear empathy. Trump's election disaster was reported by the Post, but democracy is at war with the consequences.

I can't wait to support Mitt Romney, Democratic candidate for president.

Jennifer Rubin reports opinions for The Washington Post.