The Democratic primary has rapidly devolved into a bitter squabble between 78-year-old socialist Bernie Sanders and 78-year-old billionaire Michael Bloomberg. Former vice president and 77-year-old train enthusiast Joe Biden is also technically running. The self-described "party of the future" appears to be doing everything in its power to ensure a second term for President Donald J. Trump.
The most youthful Democrat with a realistic shot at the nomination is Pete Buttigieg, the former mayor of Indiana's fourth-largest city who won't shut up about the time he studied abroad in Afghanistan. He's riding high after strong finishes in Iowa and New Hampshire but is in for a rude awakening once the voting starts in states that aren't dominated by his core demographic of wealthy whites with graduate degrees and West Wing fetishes.
Presumptive frontrunners Sanders and Bloomberg are both considerably older than Trump (73), and neither possesses the incumbent's legendary intellectual and physical stamina. On Wednesday, the two were arguing about which of them had suffered the more significant heart problems. Biden, meanwhile, continues to conduct himself like an escaped nursing home resident wandering around a bus station looking for his dog Roscoe.
Surely a better option exists. Perhaps an experienced politician biding his (or her) time on the sidelines. A candidate who is younger and healthier than the current field of top-tier candidates. Someone who is relatively impoverished and diverse by comparison. A dynastic Democrat who has experience not only running for president, but running for president against Donald Trump.
Hillary Clinton, who has yet to officially announce her candidacy for president in 2020, checks all these boxes. She is only 72 years old. She hasn't suffered any unexplained fainting spells of late—that we know of—and appears to have gotten her coughing fits under control. She is a woman, which is nice. Her net worth, in the $50 million range, is relatively modest.
Hillary has already proven she has what it takes to get more votes than Donald Trump. She is the youngest, healthiest option available to Democrats looking for an alternative to Sanders's socialism and Bloomberg's paternalistic racist billionaire-ism. The time is now. What is she waiting for?
Published under: Bernie Sanders , Democratic Party , Hillary Clinton , Joe Biden , Michael Bloomberg , Satire