Donald Trump Makes History Again!

Becomes third president since America's founding to be 'impeached,' despite doing nothing wrong

December 18, 2019

Donald J. Trump made history again on Wednesday, joining Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton as the third president since America's founding to be "impeached" by his enemies in Congress.

The House of Representatives voted mostly along party lines to impeach Trump for a series of alleged "crimes" after more than six hours of meaningless debate. At numerous points during the tedious deliberations, Democratic lawmakers pretended to respect the Constitution, much in the same way that liberals pretend to love America during the World Cup.

House Democrats applauded after voting 230-197 to approve the first of two articles of impeachment — "abuse of power" and "obstruction of Congress" — despite repeatedly declaring their sadness at the thought of having to impeach a sitting president.

Two Democrats — Reps. Collin Peterson of Minnesota and Jeff Van Drew of New Jersey — voted with Republicans in bipartisan opposition to impeachment on the first article. A third Democrat, Rep. Jared Golden of Maine joined them in opposing impeachment on the second article. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D., Hawaii), a formidable candidate in the Democratic primary, voted "present" on both articles.

The House vote to impeach Trump is functionally irrelevant, given the fact that 1) no one cares, and 2) The Republican-controlled Senate will never vote to remove Trump from office on Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's (R., Ky.) watch.

Trump is by far the most successful commander in chief to be subjected to an impeachment vote, and the only president to be impeached despite no evidence of wrongdoing.

The president marked the occasion on Twitter, a popular social networking website, before departing the White House for Battle Creek, Mich., to address a rally of adoring fans.

At the rally in Michigan, a state whose 16 electoral votes helped Trump defeat Hillary Clinton in 2016, the president took the stage to "God Bless the U.S.A." and a standing ovation from the raucous crowd.

Trump began by reminding the "hardworking patriots" in attendance that, thanks to his leadership, it was no longer taboo to say "Merry Christmas." He then proceeded to lash out at the do-nothing Democrats in Congress who voted to impeach him in historic fashion.

"It doesn't really feel like we are being impeached," Trump said. "The country is doing better than ever before. We did nothing wrong, and we have tremendous support in the Republican Party, like we've never had before."

Several minutes into the president's speech, an aggrieved lib started making a scene and had to be removed by security. "Get her out!" Trump said. "There's a real slob."