Claudine Gay resigned Tuesday as president of Harvard University. The school's governing body, the Harvard Corporation, which oversees an endowment of more than $50 billion, vowed to begin its search for Gay's successor "in due course."
EXCLUSIVE: Read Claudine Gay's Private Resignation Letter to the Harvard Board
Harvard has yet to reach out, but the Washington Free Beacon would love to help. Here are our top six candidates to replace Claudine Gay as Harvard president. You're welcome!
1) Condoleezza Rice
Certainly the most qualified candidate on this list. A former U.S. secretary of state and national security adviser, Rice currently serves as director of the Hoover Institution at Stanford University. She is also a significant improvement compared to Gay when it comes to diversity and inclusion.
Rice, the descendant of African slaves, grew up in Alabama during segregation and worked her way up to the highest levels of government and academia. (Gay, the child of Haitian immigrants, grew up in New York City before attending Phillips Exeter Academy, a private boarding school, and plagiarizing her way to the top.)
2) Ivanka Trump
Another eminently qualified candidate who would make history as the first Jewish woman president of Harvard. The former first daughter and her husband, Harvard alum Jared Kushner ('03), have considerable experience when it comes to soliciting funds from dodgy foreign actors, which makes her an ideal fit to run a university-themed hedge fund beloved by corrupt dictators and their offspring.
3) Kamala Harris
Most Americans—including most Democrats, if they're being honest—are terrified at the thought of Harris being an 81-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency of the United States. She is better suited to a job that requires very little in terms of actual skill and intellectual rigor. Harvard is a perfect fit.
4) Elizabeth Warren
She already made history as the "first woman of color" at Harvard Law School. There's no reason she couldn't make history again as the university's first self-described "American Indian" president.
Seems like a no brainer, especially since Warren's core supporters during her failed presidential run in 2020—rich white liberals with fancy degrees—are the same people whinging hysterically about "racism" because a university president had to resign for doing something (blatant plagiarism) that would get a normal student at that university expelled.
5) Nikole Hannah-Jones
Just announce it already. The people shrieking loudest about Gay's resignation aren't even trying to defend her against the accusations irrefutable evidence of plagiarism. They're just mad that people they don't like are happy she's gone. Such is the extent of the left's commitment to academic integrity.
Nothing would annoy Harvard's critics more than naming as Gay's successor the race-obsessed author of the controversial 1619 Project, whose contributions to the intellectual discourse include describing America in the 21st century as "one of the most unequal societies in the history of the world."
6) Barack Obama
The Harvard Law School grad and first biracial president of the United States isn't looking for a job. He just wants to hang out with celebs, make lists of all his favorites things, and stroke his massive ego. He could still do all that as president of Harvard, which doesn't sound like a particularly demanding gig, assuming the university could meet his salary requirements. (A mere $900,000 a year won't cut it.)
Of course, Harvard might be hesitant to replacing Gay with a man. But what about a gay man? Now we're talking.