Throughout the 2020 election cycle, Democrats spent exorbitant amounts of money on entirely useless things. From Michael Bloomberg's billion-dollar presidential bid to Amy McGrath's $110 million blowout loss in Kentucky, libs across the country burned through pallets of cash with no regard for effectiveness.
Clearly, the party required a financial guru in 2021. A man who could show his fellow Democrats how to spend their coin in more tangible ways. Just three months into the year, that man emerged—Michigan state representative Jewell Jones.
Looking to bring a more hands-on approach to his campaign, Jones held a March "economic development" meeting at the Pantheion Club, a suburban Detroit gentlemen's lounge and self-described leader in "topless entertainment." Jones's campaign spent $221 at the esteemed establishment, money the Democrat later said went toward the strip joint's "great lamb chops."
A thorough Washington Free Beacon investigation confirmed Jones's knack for economic efficiency. According to one veteran Yelp reviewer, a Pantheion clubgoer can order a lamb chop for just $2—a marvel of a deal that serves as a stinging indictment of Democrats' previous spending patterns.
Take, for example, the $500 million Bloomberg spent on ads during his failed White House bid. While the billionaire businessman could not—contrary to claims from top liberal journalists—have given each American $1 million with his ad budget, he could have sent roughly 31 of Pantheion's famous chops to every one of Michigan's eight million registered voters. With Jones at the helm of his campaign, perhaps Bloomberg would be sitting in the Oval Office at this very moment.
Given the left's love for irresponsible expenditures, it was not surprising to see Jones criticized for his innovative campaign outing. But the state lawmaker emerged unscathed. He defended the spending in a text to the Detroit News, saying, "We have [to] meet people where they're at some times … #HOLLA."
Except, as of now, Jones has more than just cheap lamb chops served by bare-chested women to #HOLLA about. He's a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.