2018 Man of the Year: Lamarr Chambers

prison toilet
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#PooWatch is what they called it.

On January 17, 2018, after a brief car chase, Mr. Lamarr Chambers of London, England, was arrested on suspicion of drug possession. In an attempt to hide his alleged narcotics from officers, Mr. Chambers was thought to have swallowed the suspected contraband.

It was at this point that events took a turn for the record books.

Essex police decided that since they did not have any hard evidence of Mr. Chambers’s drug possession that they would take unusual means to prove their case. Their solution was to place Chambers in a temporary holding cell, with a toilet, and simply wait for Mr. Chambers to pass whatever it was that he had swallowed.

Police thought they were dealing with a run of the mill drug user, a typical degenerate, devoid of any personal pride or intestinal fortitude.

Lamar Chambers, had other plans.

Not content to simply dump out the evidence and be done with the whole mess. Chambers took on the system head on.

For 47 days and nights Lamar Chambers refused to give in, or for that matter give out. Under continual surveillance of two supervision officers, fed three square meals per day, Mr. Chambers consumed, but never expelled.

His wizardry baffled all who inquired. Once the news of Mr. Chambers’s incarceration became public, the police department created the hashtag #PooWatch to update the rapidly growing online audience captivated by the resolute Mr. Chambers.

Weekly updates were provided, including the revelation that on February 10, Chambers had broken the British record for such a feat (actually true).

Not content with his record achievement, and with officers clearly unimpressed by his endurance, Mr. Chambers preserved under the continual surveillance of his captors.

By March 7, a full 47 days after his initial incarceration, #PooWatch reached its breaking point.

The Essex Police Department relented and released Chambers into medical custody, dropping all the charges, thus granting Chambers total victory.

Mr. Lamarr Chambers of London, England, you may not be an American, but our bathroom door is always open for you, 2018’s Man of the Year.