This Is Why the Terrorists Hate Us

(Because we honor the fraternity bros who protect our flag from filthy libs, that's why)

June 3, 2024

Americans came together last month to honor the courageous University of North Carolina fraternity brothers who defended our flag from filthy liberals protesting the existence of Jews in Israel. Their heroism in the face of a terrorist-supporting mob inspired a GoFundMe campaign that raised more than $500,000 to throw them an "epic rager" that is, as of this week, officially happening.

Flagstock 2024 will take place on Labor Day, Sept. 2, 2024, shortly after students arrive on campus, party organizer John Noonan said in a press release on Monday. Noonan, who spearheaded the successful GoFundMe campaign, founded the Pints for Patriots organization to plan and execute this shock-and-awe celebration of American freedom. The group includes a board of directors and a team of volunteers who will ensure that "every cent of donor dollars goes to throwing these fine young Americans the epic rager they earned."

Country music star John Rich will lead the "talent engagement" process for Flagstock 2024, an exclusive event that will be free of charge to invited guests. The location has yet to be revealed, presumably for security concerns and to prevent filthy liberals from making a scene. Based on the results of an exclusive Washington Free Beacon analysis, we project that the average attractiveness among party attendees will be significantly higher compared to the mob of students who protested in solidarity with Hamas terrorists.

WFB EXCLUSIVE: We Finally Found a 'Free Palestine' Protester Who Is Actually Kind of Hot

"These great young guys defended our flag and created a unifying national cultural moment," Noonan said. "Everyone in America wanted to thank these fine young patriots. On Labor Day, we will get to do just that." 

God bless these fraternity brothers. They are the reason why the terrorists hate us.