Liberal Celebs Host 'Fundraiser From Hell' for Joe Biden

Sex pest Bill Clinton to appear alongside morbidly obese pop star Lizzo, former comedian Stephen Colbert

March 26, 2024

President Joe Biden's reelection campaign is joining forces with liberal celebrities for what sounds like the most insufferable fundraising event of the 2024 election. Some are calling it the "fundraiser from hell," and for good reason.

The star-studded extravaganza will take place Thursday evening at Radio City Music Hall and will feature performances by aging starlet Queen Latifah, Broadway sensation Ben Platt, and the morbidly obese Lizzo, who is facing numerous accusations of sexual harassment.

Biden is expected to appear alongside former Democratic presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, a notorious sex pest who was conspicuously absent from the campaign trail in 2020. Better yet, the presidential triumvirate will take part in a "lively conversation" moderated by Stephen Colbert, the late-night television host who used to be a comedian.

Anna Wintour, the fashion boss and Democratic megadonor who inspired the malevolent antagonist in The Devil Wears Prada, helped organize the fundraiser, which is expected to be "the most lucrative in party history," according to NBC News.

Tickets range from $250 to as much as $500,000 for liberal bigwigs who wish to buy access to a private reception with Biden, Obama, and Clinton. Attendees who contribute $100,000 or more will get their photos taken with the three presidents by Annie Leibovitz, the celebrity photographer best known for her work on the April 2019 issue of Vanity Fair featuring Beto O'Rourke.

Democratic donors and other psychopaths who can't make it to Radio City Music Hall this week need not despair. There will be another Broadway fundraiser for Biden next month hosted by Hillary Clinton and Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda. Tickets range from $500 to $5,000, and guests will be treated to a special performance of Suffs, the musical about the women's suffrage movement coproduced by Hillary Clinton. Fun!