Obamacare’s Rollout Explained by ‘Animal House’

Senator Blutarsky never would have stood for this.

Senator Blutarsky never would have stood for this.

Despite the fact that the rollout of Obamacare has been disastrous, the president took to his bully pulpit today to instruct us that, actually, ALL IS WELLLLLL!!!!!

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Obama is tired of hearing your complaints. All you should be asking is “Thank you, sir, may I have another?”

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You are to ask for another despite the fact that healthcare.gov has done this to the insurance markets:

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The site runs as if it was programmed by a bunch of dudes who had just found out that valuable, valuable booze was going to waste:

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Contra Obama, the website—and Obamacare as a whole thus far—deserves a 0.0.

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The real problem, of course, is that people believed statements like “If you like your healthcare, you can keep it.”

Seriously, though, if you have a complaint about the way President Obama’s signature legislative achievement is working, he has a very important message for you:

eatme