Donald Trump has allegedly been "defeated" in the 2020 election, but win or lose, he will go down in history as one of the most accomplished U.S. presidents since George Washington.
As Trump's first term in office comes to a close, it's worth taking some time to look back and marvel at some of his most remarkable accomplishments.
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Next stop, Mount Rushmore? Stay tuned.
1. Curing COVID-19
The deadly virus attempted a decapitation strike on the leader of the free world and immediately regretted it. Trump's body, one of the healthiest and most athletic in the history of American presidents, easily conquered the Wuhan flu. Trump's mind proceeded to engineer a historic vaccine that would allow Americans who are less physically gifted to conquer the virus on their own.
2. Killing Terrorists
Yes, the American people are grateful for all of the lives Trump has personally saved. His record of ending the lives of evil freaks is just as impressive. Just ask Qassem Soleimani or Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Well, you can ask what's left of them. When it comes to terrorists, Trump shoots to kill, and doesn't miss.
3. Owning the Libs
Long story short: Libs hate America. Donald Trump made it great again. Owned.
4. Humiliating Hillary
Being a female president was the only thing Hillary Clinton has ever wanted. All the experts (save those at the Free Beacon) predicted she would finally achieve that goal in 2016. Her campaign staged a "victory" celebration at a venue with a real glass ceiling and stuffed cannons full of confetti "shards" to symbolize the her-storic achievement. Oops.
5. Peace in the Middle East
John Kerry, among others, said it would never happen. Trump had other ideas. Some context: His predecessor, Barack Obama, won a Nobel Peace Prize for winning an election.
6. Saving Christmas
Days after Trump declared Christmas Eve a federal holiday, President-elect Joe Biden became the first Democrat in recent memory to utter the phrase, "Merry Christmas." The War on Christmas is finally over, and the libs lost.
7. Repealing Obama's Legacy
Remember the Iran nuclear deal? What about the Paris climate accords? What about the time Obama tried to normalize relations with communist Cuba? Nah, neither do we.
8. Owning the RINOs
Trump's attacks on Rand Paul and Jeb Bush during the 2016 Republican primary are the reason we fell in love with him. He dissed Paul for his weirdo looks and for "falling off the stage" at the debates, while Jeb was epically owned for being "a sad and pathetic person" and "an embarrassment to his family."
9. Being Acquitted
House Democrats wasted everyone's time by voting to "impeach" Trump for having a perfect phone call with the president of Ukraine. Senate Republicans considered the evidence and voted to acquit. Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation was a dud. See also: "Owning the Libs."
10. Loving his Family
Trump is nothing if not a devoted family man, overflowing with empathy. He cherished his wife, our historically attractive First Lady, and showered her with love and affection. He often showed interest in the lives of his adult sons, Eric and Don Jr., and watched as his formidable daughter, Ivanka, rose through the ranks of his administration. But most of the love coursing through his large heart was reserved for his real family, the American people, and his first true love, the Constitution.