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This Is How the Obama Administration Ends

Teen mags, TV Cameos, and (eventually) a Biden reality show

Chicago slumlord Valerie Jarrett. (AP)
• October 1, 2014 4:58 pm

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The Obama administration is on its last legs. Attorney General Eric Holder is jumping ship. The president mentally checked out months ago. Some have argued that the embarrassing failures at the U.S. Secret Service are actually the initial stages of a Biden-backed coup. Even Obama’s most trusted adviser, Chicago slumlord Valeria Jarrett, is starting to get bored. She recently made a guest appearance on "The Good Wife," an obscure political drama on CBS.

Jarrett’s acting skills were panned by YouTube critics.

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In addition to shoddy acting, Jarrett has been dabbling in teen magazines, perhaps lining up a post-White House gig as an advice columnist. Obama, for his part, seems to be angling for a staff writer position at Vox.com. This is how the Obama administration ends.

By the end of the year, Jarrett will likely be starring in HBO’s "Slumlord Millionaire," which documents the life of an Iranian-born attorney who operates a shady real estate empire in some of Chicago’s poorest neighborhoods, using her political ties to make millions via the privatization of public housing projects. The attorney—street name "Jar Rat"—painstakingly climbs the rungs of political power by hosting elaborate dinner parties with celebrities.

Meanwhile, Vice President Joe Biden, will have his own reality show on the E! network. "Shut Joe Mouth," will track Biden's efforts to avoid saying something offensive in the presence of various minority groups. Of course, this is contingent on whether or not his coup is successful. The show will air until Biden announces his candidacy for presidency in 2015.