The Democrats’ 2014 Agenda is Full of Big Ideas

Look on this platform, voters, and despair!

Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid (AP)
• March 21, 2014 9:59 am


It’s only March, but the Democratic Party is already having a rough year. Midterm elections in November could make it even worse. Fortunately, the Democrats have assembled a compelling platform of Big Ideas to present to voters.

Major planks:

-The Koch brothers are evil/un-American.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) has made clear that demonizing the septuagenarian philanthropists will be a major part of the midterm strategy. According to Reid, the Kochs, who have given hundreds of thousands of dollars to Democratic candidates and committees, are "about as un-American as anyone I can imagine," and are "against everything that’s good for America today." Liberal activists have been doing their best to counter this threat to America. Earlier this month, for example, they took to the streets in protest against David Koch’s $100 million donation to a New York City hospital.

-Republicans are racist, especially Paul Ryan.

House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan (R., Wis.) is a racist, Democrats charge, because he, like all Republicans, engages in "dog whistle bigotry," and recently suggested that poverty is an especially big problem "in our inner cities." This is why you shouldn’t vote for Republicans, who aren't allowed to talk about inner-city poverty. Only Democrats are.

-Tom Steyer thinks building an oil pipeline is a bad idea.

Liberal billionaire Tom Steyer has pledged to spend $100 million in support of candidates who favor massive government action to combat "climate change" and who oppose construction of the Keystone XL oil pipeline, a position shared by 41 percent of Americans.

A recent State Department report confirmed that construction of the pipeline is unlikely to have a significant impact on climate change. As luck would have it, Steyer and other wealthy Democratic donors stand to benefit from the policies they advocate, but that’s okay because everyone knows that Democrats are always looking out for the little guy.



-Obamacare isn't perfect. But Republicans. 

Vulnerable Democrats have tried to distance themselves from the controversial law for months. Florida Congressional candidate Alex Sink (D) lost in an upset after essentially running on this message of "Yes, the law is bad and the rollout was awful, but we shouldn’t repeal it." A recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll found that 47 percent of voters would be more likely to support a candidate who wants to repeal Obamacare, compared to 45 percent who said they would favor a candidate who supports "fixing and keeping the health care reform law." Only 35 percent of voters said they thought the law was a good idea, versus 49 percent who said it was a bad idea. But did we mention Paul Ryan is racist?



And then there are the minor/edgier planks, such as:

-Go easier on Iran.

At the behest of the White House, Harry Reid has successfully blocked bipartisan legislation to increase sanctions on the Iranian regime in the event that diplomacy fails, despite the fact that almost 80 percent of voters believe that sanctions would be the most effective means of preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, and the fact that voters don’t approve of President Obama’s handling of the conflict.



-Lift the embargo on Cuba.

Florida Republican-turned-Independent-turned-Democrat Charlie Crist wants the embargo "taken away," and MSNBC is beginning to wonder whether Crist is onto something. Senator Tom Harkin (D., Iowa) took to the Senate floor last month to rave about his recent trip to Cuba, and praise the communist regime’s healthcare and education systems, only to be rebutted rather forcefully by Senator Marco Rubio (R., Fla.).



-Your votes don't really matter. 

Because dammit, we can’t wait for you dullards to realize just how evil the Koch brothers are, and how their racist puppets in the GOP are undermining America. President Obama has a pen and a phone, and he’s not afraid to use them. In fact, he has long coveted powers more substantial than the ones afforded him as mere president of a mere representative democracy ruled by an old, confusing Constitution. So feel free to vote Republican in 2014—just be prepared to endure a series of lectures about why you shouldn’t have.



Published under: 2014 Election, Democratic Party