Hillary Clinton's Laugh Is, Objectively Speaking, Grating and Awful

October 15, 2015

Look, obviously I'm not going to be a huge fan of Hillary Clinton, given my standing as the executive editor of this here decadent and unethical anti-Clinton weblog. But I don't think it's my inherent bias against Democrats generally or Democratic women specifically that leads me to refer to Hillary Clinton's laugh as a "cackle." It's that her laugh sounds like a cackle.

I understand that Media Matters has to defend Hillary Clinton from even the most obviously correct statements of fact: It's literally the entire reason they are funded by the Democratic establishment. Game respect game, etc. But Hannah Groch-Begley can't actually think that Hillary Clinton has a normal, appealing, human laugh, can she? I mean, have you heard it?

Hillary Clinton's laugh is like the Sex Panther cologne from Anchorman: not only is it pungent and unbearable, it clears every room in which it's unleashed and inspires innocent bystanders to call in the authorities. Hillary Clinton's laugh is so awkward and awful that Even The Liberal Daily Show riffed on its awkward awfulness. We made the Hillary Laugh Button for a reason, and that reason isn't "Hillary Clinton's laugh is a mellifluous, dulcet tone that soothes young babies to sleep and isn't at all robotic or frightening." No, we made the Hillary Laugh Button because Hillary's laugh sounds like the Predator's horrifyingly alien and mechanical reproduction of Billy's guffaw:

So yes, the media has "returned to deriding Hillary's laugh." We deride it because it is a remarkably awful laugh, one that would've sunk her political ambitions years ago if she didn't happen to have been married to a literal United States president. It burns the ears. It singes the brain.

Published under: Hillary Clinton