"Mean Girls" Starring "The Squad"

No, you can't sit with them

July 19, 2019

"The Squad" is the hottest thing in Democratic Party politics since Barack Obama, or maybe even the Gore-Lieberman ticket. This gang of brash young freshmen is hell bent on running the school this year, and putting those annoying seniors in their place. Watch your back, Nancy!

There's no disputing that Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y.), Ilhan Omar (D., Minn.), Rashida Tlaib (D., Mich.), and Ayanna Pressley (D., Mass.) are the most popular girls on Capitol Hill, and no strangers to petty drama. It's a storyline straight out of the blockbuster film Mean Girls starring Tim Meadows.

Regina means "kween," in case you flunked high school Latin. Take your shot, but you'd better not miss. The undisputed leader of The Squad, AOC has the sass and swag to keep her minions in line, and she'll steal your boyfriend like a cute scrunchie from the bargain bin at Claire's.

Always says what's on her mind, the consequences be damned. No, she's not sorry.

Kind of a third wheel, but not for lack of trying. Constantly getting burned by the secret three-way call maneuver. Totally down for a mutiny, she just needs an ally she can trust.

The new kid on the block just biding her time.

Received her first Social Security check before most of The Squad was even born. She runs the school with an iron fist, and is used to getting her way. Has she finally met her match?