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TRUMP WINS AGAIN!

AP
November 10, 2015

The Trump train kept on rolling Tuesday night at the Republican debate moderated by Fox Business. You might not have noticed, but the Donald won again. Sure, he didn't exude the raw silverback dominance he did in prior contests, but Trump once again stood out as the only candidate with the virile intensity to restore American greatness.

Trump's closing statement said it all: "We will fight, we will win." It's a message his low-energy competitors are incapable of understanding because they've never built a successful business from scratch and some help from their rich dad. America will win because Trump is a proven winner, and he was the only one on stage who had the guts to put Carly Fiorina in her place for constantly interrupting the conversation. Trump also proved, and somewhat definitely at that, his superior ability to wear an expensive suit without coming across as trying too hard. It helps that he has a full head of exquisite, natural hair.

Marco Rubio talked a lot about the America Dream, but Donald Trump is the American Dream. Sorry, Marco. How many resorts do you own? Ted Cruz talked about economics and stuff, but does he really know more than Trump? Probably not. Rand Paul talked about abolishing the military, so there's that. As the Donald has repeatedly said, he would be great at leading the military—probably the best in history. Kasich was an obnoxious dick the whole night and would definitely lose in a fist fight against Trump. Ben Carson looked sleepy, like he could use a decent night's sleep in a luxurious Trump hotel. As for Trump, his only regret is, presumably, that he didn't get to spend more time talking about the Bible, one of the all-time great books.

Trump might not "know all the answers" to gotcha questions like "Is China a party to the Trans-Pacific Partnership?" Who cares? Is China bad? You're damn right they are, and the Chinese have exploited the weakness of our political leaders for far too long. Trump is the only man up to the task. Emphasis on "man," by the way. Boy, was he dripping with brawn tonight. His super-model wife is one lucky lady, and so are all his exes, for having once loved a man of such magnitude, if only for a fleeting moment in time. History may not remember this day, but when the next chapter in America's history is written, November 8, 2016, will mark the return of greatness to this purple mountain's majesty, the land of freedom.

Disclosure: The author is a Trump campaign donor and #1 TRUMP FAN.