18 Much Better Questions Than the New York Times Asked the Democratic Candidates

The New York Times recently asked 21 of the Democratic candidates running for president 18 questions, hitting topics ranging from immigration and climate change to their favorite comfort foods and most recent embarrassing moments.

The Washington Free Beacon came up with 18 much better questions to ask the massive field. Here they are.

• "In an ideal world, would anyone not own a handgun?"
• "Would your focus be on building off the impressive Obama drone program or developing more MOABs?"
• "If you could waterboard any billionaire, who would it be?"
• "Do you think Che Guevara went to heaven?"
• "Which is worse: accepting opposition research from a foreign adversary, or the Holocaust?"
• "You've privately referred to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas, haven't you?"
• "Why is Eric Swalwell?"
• "Would you bake a cake for Alex Jones?"
• "How disgusted were you when Donald Trump told the Russian president he would offer him more flexibility after his re-election?"
• "If you were stuck on a desert island with a mermaid for sexual companionship, would you choose upper half fish/bottom half woman, or upper half woman/bottom half fish?"
• "Where did Joe Biden touch you?"
• "If elected, would you seek justice and pursue federal charges against the Nigerian brothers who brutally attacked Jussie Smollett?"
• "Scenario: Iran develops a nuclear weapon. How will you punish Israel?"
• "MFK: Charlie Kirk, Sean Hannity, Seb Gorka."
• "Abortion is controversial. How would you go about making it 'cool' again?"
• "What Cabinet position will you offer Alyssa Milano?"
• "President Trump has obviously made America great again. Why do you want to be a jerk and reverse that?"
• "If Star Trek: Beyond established that the Beastie Boys exist in the reboot timeline, what should we make of the fact that their song 'Intergalactic' has the lyric 'Like a pinch on the neck from Mr. Spock'? Do you think that lyrics are the same, and the Beastie Boys of that universe were very prescient? Or in that universe, did they never write 'Intergalactic'? Or perhaps in that universe they swapped the lyric out with something else?"