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The Single Most Compelling Reason Joe Biden Should Resign as President

(Alex Wong/Getty Images)
July 22, 2024

President Joe Biden hasn't been seen in public since last week, but we've been assured that he is no longer running for reelection and has endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris to take his place as Democratic nominee. We don't even know for sure if Biden is still alive. Anything is possible.

Astute political observers have argued that if Biden isn't fit to run for reelection and serve another four years in the White House, then he's not fit to continue serving as president and should resign immediately. This should be obvious to anyone who cares about America's future. But it's not the most compelling reason why Biden should resign.

To be sure, Biden's resignation would almost certainly bring about the destruction of the United States. The country probably would not survive a Kamala Harris presidency, but there is at least one good reason why Biden should step down and let her pretend to do the job for a few months: Hillary Clinton would have to watch, and that would be hilarious.

Clinton has spent her entire life pursuing power and using that power to crush her enemies. All she ever wanted was to make history as the first female president in American history, and to use the power of the presidency to punish everyone who ever criticized her. She got close in 2008, then had to watch some unqualified rookie named Barack Obama make history instead. She got even closer in 2016. All the experts said there was no way she could lose to Donald Trump, but Clinton proved them wrong.

If Biden resigned as president, Harris would achieve Clinton's lifelong dream of becoming the first woman to serve as president of the United States. She wouldn't even have to win an election. She could do it despite getting "married" at age 48, without having a single biological child, without a single Ivy League degree. It would be so heartwarming to watch Hillary pretend to be excited for Kamala. She might post something cheery on social media trying to take credit for "putting some cracks in that glass ceiling LOL." She might include a passive-aggressive line about how this is "a first step toward making history in November" implying that it doesn't really count.

This is as good a reason as any why Biden should resign now, while Clinton is still alive to see it happen. Watching this all play out, Harris cackling her way into the history books, would be very traumatizing for Clinton, who'd be forced to fake a smile while struggling to repress the rage and resentment burning inside her after all these years. It would be very funny for everyone else.

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