BREAKING: Sight-Impaired Millionaire Still Not Cleared to Drive

Hillary Clinton flees baby-talking event in five-car motorcade
(AP)

New video evidence suggests that elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton has still not been clear to operate a motor vehicle following her scary fall in December 2012. The following clip was taken as the former child rapist defender was leaving a Clinton Foundation event in Oakland, California:

More Bad News for Hillary

Voters not convinced that wealthy homeowner can feel their pain
AP

A new poll from The Economist/YouGov does not look good for elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton, a potential challenger to Joe Biden in the 2016 Democratic primary.

Her favorability rating continues to slide. According to the poll, 46 percent of American view Clinton favorably, compared to 45 percent who view her unfavorably.

Chasing Hillary

Book: Biden, O’Malley, Schweitzer, Klobuchar, Emanuel, Cuomo, and Warren preparing to run if Hillary Clinton bows out
Artist: Gary Locke

Among Democrats who hope Hillary Clinton doesn’t run—and their number is larger than one might think—the complaints are familiar. Age and stamina are the obvious considerations. “Look at Obama’s hair color, just like George Bush’s,” says a prominent Washington insider. “Somebody who’s seventy shouldn’t be president. And I think that’s going to be an interesting issue against her, but who in the Democratic Party is going to have the guts to take on that machine?” A former Clinton campaign adviser is equally blunt. “This is gonna sound superficial”—which is an understatement—“but men do age better than women,” he says. “At seventy she’s not gonna be—it’s not gonna be great.”

Why Hillary Clinton’s Massive Public Speaking Fortune Matters

AP

Hillary Clinton has raked in at least $12 million since quitting her job at the State Department last year, Bloomberg reported on Monday, noting that Clinton’s “windfall” was “at odds with her party’s call to shrink the gap between the rich and the poor.”

This did not sit well with Hillary’s fans, who really hate it when you mention her and Mitt Romney in the same sentence:

Hillary Clinton Has Made $12 Million Since Leaving the State Department

She is the 0.01 percent
Elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton holds an hour's worth of wages. (AP)

Hillary Clinton has “earned” at least $12 million since quitting her job as Secretary of State, Bloomberg reports. Sources of income include her underperforming memoir, along with paid appearances at corporate gatherings (e.g. Goldman Sachs) and six-figure speeches at public universities.

Clinton, who owns at least two homes and hasn’t driven a car in decades, is trying to present herself as a champion of hardworking Americans. Bloomberg notes that while Hillary’s so-called earnings “represent a fraction of the Clinton family’s total income,” they were ample enough to place her “in the top one-hundredth of the 1 percent.” She is the 0.01 percent, and she’s very concerned about income inequality.