Contrary to the solitude of actual wrestling, the professional version thrives on the cooperation between its performers. This week’s Total Divas tested the bonds between our lady warrior-performers.
Like any ace duo, the sum of the Funkadactyls is greater than the parts. Trinity lacks the patience required for a diva’s social commitments while Ariane can only grind out press availability after press availability.
The friction between the Funkdactyls erupted while inside the crucible that is the go-kart course. Ariane’s sore winning triggered Trinity and, as an athlete-actor conditioned for violence, she struck.
Trinity and Ariane gave it a whirl on the single match circuit where each wrestler’s weakness was exposed. But this time, they were left alone.
The Funkdactyls feud was resolved after the girls realized that they need each other.
I’ve seen the next evolution of Man and his name is John Cena. In addition to peak physical prowness, Cena advised Nikki to seek out her deadbeat dad. He's also a master historian, tutoring his artificially well-endowed paramour in the Yalta Conference.
The Bellas hit the road back to their childhood home in the Imperial Valley, thus explaining Nikki's quality of education.
Papa Bella is not a monster; he's just another divorcee. It took the prodding of John Cena and an E! reality show for the Bellas to forgive their hapless father.
Nattie never learned the first rule for birthdays: birthdays are never what you hype them up to be.
Nattie’s birthday week ended before it even began, with TJ continuing to wipe his feet on Nattie, thinking that hanging out with his family was a acceptable substitute birthday meal.
That miscalculation drove Nattie back into the arms of her first trainer, Jarett the Tanning Store Owner. Their history became apparent when Jarett’s suggested Nattie get naked for her spray tan.
In the first genuinely dramatic conflict on the wildly popular Total Divas, Jarett objects to her TBA nuptials.
But Nattie can’t depend on a fellow castmember to help her with her decision.
