Satire

Ex-Candidate Bernie Sanders Still Wants People to Risk Their Lives for Socialism

Stocks surge as elderly socialist drops out, vows to 'stay on the ballot in remaining states'

Stocks surged on Wednesday after Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.) announced he was suspending his socialist campaign for president. Former vice president Joe Biden is now the only candidate remaining in the race for the Democratic nomination, which means he might finally win an endorsement from his former boss, Barack Obama.

Sanders's decision to concede defeat and quit campaigning, however, does not mean the Vermont socialist's campaign is over. In fact, Sanders suggested that his supporters should risk their lives for socialism by voting in upcoming primaries. His goal is to bring as many delegates as possible to the Democratic convention this summer.

"On a practical note, let me also say this: I will stay on the ballot in all remaining states and continue to gather delegates," Sanders said in a livestreamed address. "While Vice President Biden will be the nominee, we must continue working to assemble as many delegates as possible at the Democratic convention, where we will be able to exert significant influence over the party platform and other functions."

Many primaries have been canceled and postponed as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, while most states have ordered residents to remain in their homes in the interest of public safety. As such, it's not clear what Sanders hopes to achieve by remaining on the ballot, beyond endangering the lives of his socialist supporters.

President Donald J. Trump weighed in on Sanders's decision via Twitter.